Would Therapy Ever Be Like Anger Management? Psychotherapists Break It Down

Can therapy really look like what we see in Anger Management with Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson? In this laugh-out-loud episode of Wicked Psychotherapists, Erin and Tanya—two licensed therapists—take a wicked deep dive into the film’s chaotic version of “treatment.”

We’re talking unethical therapy, people-pleasing personalities, power dynamics, and the real psychology behind why Adam Sandler’s character avoids conflict (until he doesn’t). 

From the bizarre exposure techniques to the ridiculous boundary-blurring moments, we’re breaking down what this movie gets wildly wrong about mental health care—and the surprising bits it gets kinda right.

🎬 Whether you're a therapist, a Sandler fan, or just love analyzing movies through a mental health lens, this one’s for you.

✨ Plus, we share how this all connects to birth order, childhood trauma, and whether we could ever be concierge therapists like Jack Nicholson’s character (spoiler: we’re not moving into anyone’s house anytime soon).

🎧 New episodes every Wednesday. Come hang out, laugh, and learn with us.

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Transcript

0:08

You are listening to Wicked Psychotherapists, a podcast where two psychotherapists show you that taking care of and learning about mental health doesn't have to be wicked hat.

Tanya: 0:32

Hey guys, it's Tanya.

Erin: 0:34

Hi, it's Erin and welcome to Wicked Psychotherapists. Yeah, so we are continuing on our binge. We are like a rolling stone. We just love Adam Sandler and as you can tell, we are obsessed with him. So this week, we're gonna be talking about his movie Anger Management. I don't know why I feel the need to announce that. Like a radio, an old school radio host. But you got very, you got very serious. It's like, and today we'll be talking about anger management. I dunno what the heck I was thinking. but yeah, so anger management. this is a nice little gem of a film. I like it. It was, early two thousands, like 2003. but it, of course is really, great because it has Jack Nicholson. I mean, come on. And he is funny and he is, in the lead role. But it really, I think Adam was really stretching out his wings here and kind of like, okay, different types of comedy. And this was really. tied in with our podcast because it involves doing a type of therapy for anger management, which is bizarre. the mode itself is really on. Yeah. Yeah. it's pretty unconventional. Yeah, it's, so if you have not watched this again, you all know this. Spoilers are, we're just discussing the whole movie. So if you're calling here, it's gonna be, and it's well over 20 years that it's been out. Maybe pause, watch it come back if you feel like you need to see it. Yeah. Yeah. But it's a funny, it is like a funny movie. It's very, very, I think. not very insightful towards therapy in general because if, if my therapist did this to me, I'd be pissed. Yeah. but it's, it's just not, a great thing. Yeah. The ethical boundaries are, maybe they're a little different for Dr. Rydel than it is they are for anyone else, but I think so. I think so. I think he's in an alternate university and he's Jack Nicholson, so he just can do whatever the heck he wants. Mm-hmm. But, Yeah, so, so we see, we meet, we meet Adam's character, David, what is it, Nik or something? the first scene we see is him when he's younger. He is crushing on this girl. He is at this like block party in Brooklyn and he's like, oh, you know, You know, he's kind of watching her and she comes over and she's like, wanna play truth or dare blah, blah, blah. He gets an opportunity, she dares him, like, kiss me. And then he gets pants by the neighborhood bully, Arne Shankman. And so he's humiliated and kind of sets the tone for his personality that we see in his life where he's very much walked upon. he's very meek and does not stick up for his needs. People pleasing, You know, he's, even in his job in the beginning, he's going off to this, he was invited by his boss to come to some like, conference or meeting or something in St. Louis and he's calling his boss saying, oh, thank you so much for the opportunity. And his boss just like hangs up on him as he is going to the force, just doesn't even care. And he's still pretending like he's talking to him and his girlfriend. He hung up on you already, didn't he? And he is like, gosh, she knows him so well. You know, she's like, you, you're just gonna continue to put on the show. So we, we really see an established, definitive people pleaser, right? You know, someone who is, is afraid to push boundaries, but also needs to put on a show for other people to make sure things are okay. And his girlfriend Linda, who's played by Marissa Tome, who is just. You know, beautiful and never ages. No, she doesn't. I mean, well then, then she was young, but, you know, but she is, yeah, now she's like, still looks like that age crazy. Yeah, I know. I had to Google her. I mean,'cause of course everyone knows her. Well, I don't know if everyone knows her, but from my, my cousin Vinny. I mean, like, that's just like, you know, in Yeah. Everything else. I mean, she's just great and yeah, she, she plays, she's, she's very good as his girlfriend in this. she definitely balances him out very well. you know, but she definitely is in, on, on seeing that he's, he's being held back in life with this personality trait. yeah, and then we start to see that he, on, on the plane. He, after having an incident of people pleasing, this guy sits in a seat and is like, go find another seat. Nah, just go sit in my seat kind of thing. And then we see Dr. Rydell like, oh, over here. Come on over here. And so instead of confronting this guy, he is like, oh, I'm gonna just take the easier route. You know, he has a lot of avoidance. I would say some social anxiety. he's kind of, afraid to confront that.

Tanya: 5:03

Mm-hmm.

Erin: 5:04

confront people. Yeah. He's, yeah, he's kind of stunted and just, but really high anxiety too. And it's interesting too, because once we know. The premise of the movie, which again, we're gonna be spoiling the whole movie for you guys, but it's every, that's what we do. So pretty much, you start looking at Dr. Buddy ride's or Buddy, every single thing he does, he's trying to trigger him. He is trying to get Dave to. Have some sort of response. Even the first time when they're even on the plane and they're both on the armrest and buddy's looking at him, he is like, that's my room. That's you're on my side. You're doing this. Or, when he is like really obnoxious laughing at the movie. It's just like every single thing. He is like, come on, I'm trying to give this kid a breakthrough, or just trying to, let's not make it a whole two week ordeal, It's interesting. Yeah, he's really laying out the traps from him. He is like, come on, I'm trying to get you to react, trying to get you to confront this. And, you know, because we, you know, we do realize that from the beginning, this is a setup that was actually, placed by his girlfriend. Yeah. Very much, that spoiler alert. But, yeah, so it, it starts right from the plane and then he, he all of a sudden gets arrested for. Quote, assaulting, what do you call it, stewardess or airplane hostess. Yeah. Flight attendant. Flight attendant. Yeah. Flight hostess. I dunno, what, what year is this at a restaurant? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I'm still, I'm living in the fifties. Yeah, those women. Yeah. It's funny too,'cause like when I first was watching it, I had forgot that I watched this movie before and so I. Completely forgot everything that happened. So I was like, what? I was like, oh my God. I don't even remember when he assaulted her. Like how did he, how did she end up with that arm thing? Like I was like, not realizing that maybe it didn't really happen that way, but it is just really funny. Yeah, yeah. We kinda learn If you're a first time watcher of it, you're not aware that this is all a setup, right. And that it's for buddy to be able to confront these things. it just gets more and more ridiculous. he gets arrested and gets ordered to be in the care of, Dr. Or no, he doesn't get. Ordered to be in the care then? Not at that point, the first time it's just, she's like, well, you need to do some anger management classes. He happens to see a book of Dr. Riels and he's like, oh, he does this. He could vouch for me. He could just sign off on this. Yeah. This is the guy from the plane. It'll be easy. And then he's like, well just come to one so we could say you could hang out. And so he is like, oh, cool, okay. I'll just get this done. And over some misunderstanding. And again, even just the fact that he doesn't fight for himself in this, because I, I was thinking, wow, if this grave injustice of being like, oh my gosh, like I did not assault someone and now I have to go and. Do anger management classes, and this is not me, and I wasn't raising my voice and I was clearly, I was tased. It was like whisper talking like, can I, can I have a headset? Can I have this? Yeah, sir, why are you yelling at me? Yeah, and they're all like, keep your voice down. He's like, what? Am I crazy? Definitely being gas, like Oh yeah. The whole crew, which we find out we're all paid by buddy later on, but everyone is like, yeah, completely gaslighting him through this whole thing. He's like, wait a minute. Am I yelling? Do I have anger? Anger issues? Which is, is totally like hilarious in this setting. But obviously, you know, if this were happening in real life, which I would hope it wouldn't, I'd hope no therapist would do this. Yeah. but you know, it, it is pretty hilarious because you're like, okay, this guy was totally just convinced of something. I just remember thinking like, wow, to go to court, to have a charge on my record, no, I would be fighting that and be like, no, you need to show me more evidence. I would at least feel better about it. I don't know. And I think he's just so used to being numb and kind of being like, okay, I need to just get through this and this will just kind of get it out of the way, you know, kind of thing. He's kind of always at that level where it's like too much stress and he just needs to like do the thing to like mm-hmm. Get over it and just move on. Yeah. Kind of thing. And then even his lawyer, Kevin Neland is just kind of like the worst lawyer. It's just like, okay, not really fighting for him. It just, you know, it's just kind of. You know, poor, poor Dave Adam is just like putting all his faith into him, and it's just like, all right, here's another charge against you. Here's some more stuff. And I don't think he was in on it. I think that the lawyer was actually just a lawyer. Like I don't think he's an incompetent lawyer. Yeah. Incompetent public defender. Yeah. I mean, I, was he a public defender or was that clear? I, I, I think, think he was, I think he was, he probably was.'cause I'm sure Dave didn't make a lot of money, you know, in his job. Yeah. Yeah. He was like an executive assistant, basically so, so then he goes to the anger management group and he's like sitting on the outskirts. He's thinking like, oh, I'm just gonna observe And then he gets invited into the circle because he's kind of like, well, why don't you come join us like this? This is a group of people. Who are all very much used to, you know, getting upset maybe because other people are, are watching them or judging them, or they feel judged and so they're not going to accept, and I think Dr. Rydel knows this, like they're not going to accept him being on the outside of this. Yeah, yeah. And so they, they naturally, they kind of are like, Hey, you gotta come over here and like be a part of the group. And, he starts to learn everybody's. Stories and he's kind of like thinking like, I don't belong here. You know? He even said like, oh, I'm just here for one session. And they're like, oh, so you don't have anger issues. I thought it was really funny that we see a lot of the same people that we've seen in Mr. Deeds and Water Boy, you know, we see the guy, he is like, I'm very sneaky. You know, I'm very bad with the names. But then we have the other, the guy, he always has like the lazy eye. Yeah. So those characters were there. we always forget the lazy eye, like, who are you? But he's, a staple. So we love him, but we don't know his name. it's a pretty funny scene. You kinda learn this cast of characters that you realize like, oh man, you know, he's like, thank God he's thinking like, I'm not gonna have to be around them long. But then he realizes like, oh, you know, because the doctor's like, afterwards, you don't need this many sessions. I'm gonna double it. I'm gonna recommend double. And he is like, well, whoa. What? Then he kind of is like, I can see that you have, you're the type of person that's like a ticking time bomb that will go off and be a cashier and shoot everybody that bothers you, kind of thing. Yeah. That's the example he uses. it's so true though. It's kind of like he's somebody that is being pushed around and may possibly come out and just. Explode one day. And you know, in a way, I guess that is anger management, but we were talking before in our pregame session, and I was saying like, I don't think it's necessarily anger. I think this is like boundaries. This is people pleasing. This is not, not being able to communicate your needs and being given this, Impression that your needs will not be met. So you're just gonna kind of get around them in a way. And I think that pattern was set with maybe, you know, like the bullies when he was in that opening scene with Arkins. yeah. So everything was set with his trauma or whatever happened, you know, like the whole block party saw everything and mocked everything. Even the adults. Even the little girl he was gonna kiss and everybody, So I think that trauma probably made it like, ugh, I have to be invisible, I have to be meek. I have to obey the rules. I don't wanna draw any attention to myself, you know? And so that's definitely not confronting people. That's letting people push you around. And so that's definitely what Buddy and his girlfriend. We're trying to get Dave out of getting him to start confronting people, start to have a voice to be seen, to be loud. Yeah, for sure. For sure. I, you know, I really kind of, I related to, Dave. David? Dave. Dave. Yeah. Dave. Dave. because I, I definitely felt that way. I, and I don't know if you felt this way as just being the youngest of a brood of children. I think that that can sometimes come in, that can sometimes be the personality of, of a youngest of, of a lot of kids, where there is some dysfunction because there's the, the. The kind of, I think working, you know, I personality type for like the youngest in pop culture is very much like, oh, they're the clown, they're the baby. They've been babied kind of thing. Yeah. But I think in our experiences, and I don't, I don't wanna speak for you, but like I, I related to this and kind of feeling like, you know, you kind of get, you get kind of bullied, you know? Mm-hmm. Just because you're the youngest one there, it's just kind of Yeah. Natural and maybe you take in to kind of be like, oh, I'm going to, you know, maybe, you know, get louder. Or maybe you take that internally and you're kind of like, oh, maybe to like, not. You know, anger this sibling or whatever, I'm gonna kind of do this or kind of walk around that. And we had other factors growing up. I realize, you know, that complicated, well, I know my role, like, you know, when you look at the role, I think my role often was like the peacekeeper or, trying to make everyone happy. So probably very much like that, you know, I had siblings that were very. Loud and took up a lot of energy and space. And then I had others that, you know, just normal. But I, I feel like I, yeah, a lot of times it was trying to be quiet or invisible or the peacekeeper. Yeah, I just thought that was kind of, interesting. I wonder if other youngest children, because. I feel whenever I read about in pop culture, you know, those personality types and how they're supposed to be with the oldest, the middle, the youngest, I think that's very, very slim to none. That's very much in a, an idealistic Yeah. High functioning family that's very healthy and, and cared for. And I, I don't think we see that much of it any anymore. And so I think that. I just wanted to put that out there that I think that that's, you know, kind of something and that, and that probably is other things, like there's been no childhood trauma, you know, like two parent home or, no addiction or no other things happening. No abuse, physical or verbal or whatever. You know, like who knows what else has happened throughout childhood. You know, if you have like this stereotypical perfect childhood, maybe you would have those roles. this role, right? Yeah, exactly. And it's very outmoded, outdated, and not thought about, from. A non perspective. Yeah. Of the youngest child, because it's always thought the oldest is the golden, the middle is forgotten. The youngest is the jokester. Like that's what they expect. And that's not what happens. And then people feel like, oh, wait, I didn't have my role. Correct. Because I'm supposed to be the most loved because I'm the oldest, or I'm supposed to be forgotten because I'm the middle, but I get the most attention and I'm the middle, or I'm supposed to be the jokester and I'm the youngest and I'm not, you know, so it's very, it's. It's hard, hard when you have those roles that are supposed to be assigned. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I never related to the, like, I was always like, I'm supposed to be the jokester and the carefree one, and the person who doesn't feel like I, I don't know if that came across in my, in my family. I don't think, I think I was just very invisible and kind of feeling like trying to avoid landmines. That was the way I always felt internally. and my actions were very much in doing things and avoiding things because of that.

Tanya: 16:27

Yeah.

Erin: 16:27

Um, so yeah, I just, I, I can see some, some kind of crossover in that and, um, wonder if anybody else kind of has that experience. But anyways, um, back to, back to anger management. Yeah. Back to Adam or Dave or whatever. Adam, Dave. Dave, Adam. he's always Adam no matter what. He's always Adam. He definitely brought, like I mentioned, Water boy and everything. I'm sure you saw a bunch of the water boy expressions and like when he body slammed the, monk, his old bully. I was like, okay. Yes. He, he's got like, he definitely fits in elements. He, the singing style, the way he's kind of, he has a very particular like. Voice and cadence in the way that he sings things. When, when Dr. Rydel was like, oh, or Buddy was like, oh, sing, I feel pretty, that will calm you down. And like the way he was just like, I feel pretty, like he just kind of gets into like his little mode, you know? But I, I just, yeah. I love those, those points when you see them, because if you're an Adam fan, you, you, for sure are, are gonna recognize that. But I was laughing at that when he stopped him in the middle of the bridge and was just like, you need to sing. Like this is a song. Everyone's like, move it. Jerk a part. I was, I was cackling at. Yeah. and so then we start to realize that, Dr. Reel's methods are really, really inappropriate, but kind of hilarious. Yeah. And sets up this whole, deeply, deeply wrong and unethical exposure therapy type of process, which in the end, of course it was effective. But, you know, it's not something We could ever really do and get away with. Right. I think that would be very, very difficult. Maybe a coach could do that and be like, I'm gonna bill you for whatever this amount every day, and they could For somebody who's really wealthy. But, yeah, so he moves in and he's like, I, I'm here. My method is complete wraparound. Like, you know, I'm here twenty four seven. I have phone taps. I'm here, I sleep here, I monitor you. I go everywhere you go. It's just like his parasite, you know, for the next, 30 days or whatever it was. Which is just overwhelming. And even to the point where he's sleeping. He doesn't have his couch. So he is like, well, hem gonna sleep, I to sleep in bed with you. And then he is like, oh my God. You could see Adam's face. He's so uncomfortable. And again, these are all scenarios where it's like. You should exert your boundaries. You should be like, no. Heck no. You're staying in a hotel. You're not staying in my house. You're not sleeping in bed with me. You know, like, so there, there was so many times Dave could have, and I think Buddy was trying to say like, I'm gonna do all this to get a reaction to see if he's gonna have any sort of, not even just anger, just. You know, just show like, Hey, I can, I can have this little bit of self-confidence and just tell you what, what I feel without worrying what the outcome's gonna be. Yeah. Although, you know, when I think about it though, in that scenario where Dr. Rydell kind of has a power over him, right. To sign or not sign Or recommend jail time. I think there's definitely a power dynamic there. I know this is what we do, right? We psychoanalyze, But it's like, almost like it's building and building, and I think that's part of the experiment of this Of this like exposure experiment. Yeah. And at first the relationship is just kind of like, okay, well you're kind of coming into my group. Then we go back to court and then, oh wait, now I have to live with you, then back to court. You know, it just like keeps getting worse and worse You don't know what's gonna happen and it's just, just trying to, You know, so then the stakes are higher and higher and it's like, I have to still do what this crazy doctor is recommended and I do. Yeah. And again, I totally, I feel that with, with, Dave, you know, and kind of like sometimes you've gotten into this kind of power dynamic with someone and it feels like, oh, if I start exerting a boundary now, like they were my friend and I told them like this kind of secret or something. And maybe I don't want them to tell that, so I have to kind of please them and not anger them And not upset them. And it kind of becomes like an abuse dynamic. I've had that with, a good friend of mine for a long time and kind of recognize that. Something where, you know, in this movie, obviously it's just, it's something funny because you just kind of see these ridiculous things that you're like, okay, nobody would put up with this. But, you know, like, you know, in terms of like sleeping in bed with him and then saying, I sleep naked, and then spooning him, and instead of like saying, this is, this is, I, I need to find another person. He's like always kind of trying to avoid confrontation. Always. Yeah. Then also if you think on the other end too, like Buddy Ryde, like he is in it like, so, like he is 100% invested in his clients. Yeah. so if you see it the other way, it's like, all right, Linda paid me for a service. I am going to make sure this person. Learns how to confront people and learns his self worth.

Tanya: 21:33

Mm-hmm.

Erin: 21:34

Yeah, for sure. I mean, it, it. He's, Dr. Rydell is persistent. He really is. I mean, he really, and he sets up and he works out, you know, all this network of people Yeah. to help him and support of even including a judge and you know, all the people on the airline. And, the friend who he hires as the actress, Heather Graham, when they're in Boston. but yeah, starting from, you know, when he moves in and he's like, you know, I gotta go everywhere with you. He starts to realize, oh, that means literally everywhere. He's like, oh, well I'll see you, I'm gonna work. And he is like, oh, well we're going to work, you know, kind of thing. And he is like, oh my gosh. And so he is realizing the situation he's in and he is like, oh my God, he, he's coming to work. And then he goes in and he makes things. Like, he makes him late and he makes things really, you know, awful with his boss to kind of confront him because his boss is, his boss is pretty abusive. Yeah. He like calls him names and he's, he's really, you know, he steals his ideas. Caught ace. Yeah. And he is, yeah. Doesn't really, you know, a jerk. Yeah. Give him credit or just realize his self for the husky cat line. God, I loved that so much. I, I think it's so funny that the. Fat Cat was in like a little starter jacket or like a big sweatshirt. Just like a big fat kid. Yes. And like the little, the little beret and like would just sit there, meatball would just sit there like it's a little meatball. but yeah, I think that, you know, and then he, I Dave starts to realize, oh my gosh, this guy is ruining my life. He's, he's really just kind of getting worse and worse and worse. Mm-hmm. But really, it's, it's just Dr. Riedel putting the pressure more and more on him. Like, Hey, this is what, this is what happens. Because that is what builds the more and more you kind of hold things inside, the more, you know, not only does that build up, but the more it's kind of, that's what people expect from you after that. And it's, it's like those boundaries and expectations mm-hmm. Of interaction. Yeah. And he kept, and I think it was like probably harder for Dr. Rydell too than probably other clients because, you know, Dave wasn't exploding, he wasn't letting out. So it's like, okay, let me do something more like ridiculous. Let me just put in another situation that most people would probably say no or flip out to, but you know, like what, what are his what? What are his limits? He was a tough, he was a tough case, I think he knew that probably from the way Linda described, but he was really seeing like, oh my gosh, this guy really does intake everything and just wanna avoid confrontation. Mm-hmm. At all costs. Yeah. Yeah. yeah, and I, I think there are moments where he does, he, of course, he gets angry and upset, like with his bully when he confronts him. Mm-hmm. But to me, I mean, maybe not the way he does it, but to me it seems like okay, that's, that's justified that he would be really upset with this. And it sound, it seems like he's trying to kind of, maybe he expects even more at that point, confronting it. Yeah. So it just is like, then it overloads his anger and then it, it, it proves Dr. Rydell. Right. You know, that like, yeah. You would really once released, it's gonna be a volcano, right? Mm-hmm. And you're gonna, yeah, because, and then. And then they, they had like such a great bonding too. After that they're like, yeah, this is awesome. And then it just, I think he probably expected like, okay, well Dave is going to turn a new leaf and he is gonna start confronting people. But then when he saw that he still. Hasn't changed in other ways and he is like, okay, I need to really up the empty, you know, even more. Yeah. He had to keep kind of, kind of pushing him and then he goes towards something that's very, very important to him, which is his girlfriend. Linda, and he starts to set him up to look bad, like going with that other woman, kind of challenging him mm-hmm. To go up and be with her, even though he has no interest, he's just like, okay, I gotta do this. I was sitting there, I was like, oh my gosh, seriously, you are with someone, you don't wanna cheat on her. And this person is telling you, oh, just go, go see if you can, pick up this girl, you know, Yeah. And I was like, oh my God. but then he kind of put it as like, I challenge you to talk to this person or whatever. And then I will sign the paperwork.

Tanya: 25:38

Yeah.

Erin: 25:38

you know, I will release you if you do this. you need to Yeah. Take a break from Linda and then do this. He is like, you know, he's not gonna say he's not gonna wanna take a break from his girlfriend, but he did, because Dr. Ray told him to, he said, I don't wanna talk to somebody, you know, like, you know, like, I'm you know, in a relationship or whatever. So he still talks to him, you know, like it's just. And in that way, when I think about it that way, like that's a good point because he is still holding that over his head, so he's really training him like, Hey, even when somebody has the power like that, you still need to stick up for yourself. Yeah. So I think that really is a good lesson, To kind of, because I think that's what he was really Trying to say is that, people will always try to hoard power over you in particular situations. Like not in general, in real life too. I mean, this happens so often to people, with their bosses, you know, I don't wanna work, keep having to do overtime all the time, or I don't wanna have to work every holiday, or I don't wanna. Be on call or I don't wanna have to answer my email when I'm not at work there's so many boundaries, but you feel like you have to because your boss is saying it And a lot of people are so afraid to say no or afraid of confrontation. Yeah. And there, I mean, there's definitely. See, when I, I think about if like a client like Dave came, came to me as, as a therapist and not in the model that they're using, because I don't use that model. I don't stay 24 7 and I don't sleep with clients, at all. Oh, that's good to know. Wouldn't go to their homes, nothing. So, so, you know, it it, I, in thinking about that, I think. I would definitely wanna work on boundaries and kind of being able to, to find these things, but it, it would be a lot tougher just meeting one hour a week. And going over that because it would take a lot to dig down there. And I think there's a lot of resistance there. You know, so in this way, Dr. Rydell just kind of like, really, really challenges him. And I'm not advocating for this type of therapy because we couldn't do this type of therapy. This is not, it's not ethical and it's just not, you'd have to pay a lot of money For that. And it would be a lot of time. You have to be able to work individually with a client for like. 30 days at a time's. Just, you know, well, it'd be like your own client, you know? And Yeah. Well that's just like going back, you know, a lot of our episodes kind of relate to each other. I was just thinking like, that'd be, be like the doctor from Six Sense. You know? He was just a one-on-one doctor, you know? He could have just, oh, yeah. Yeah. Good, good connection. Yeah. Yeah, he was kind of just with him the whole time, you know, somehow found, found his file magically and was with him, you know, like it was dead and yeah, still serving. So I guess some, it's possible. But yeah, that would be a lot of work though. I mean, I'm sure there are some people that do that, like kind of like a concierge type of, I am just seeing you, or just seeing two clients, and that's it. That's my full-time job that's actually, we'd have to have people who'd be able to pay a large fee upfront and you know, so it would probably be limited to people that would be able to do that. And you'd have to be available, like if you have, you know, kids and stuff like that, you can't be with someone 24 7 of, of course this would be like, you know, this would be very much modified and ethical if this were true. It's not like they would sleep in the same bed with them, I would hope. Yeah. You know, and cuddle them and everything. But, yeah, I, I think that, yeah, probably there are some like, kind of round, round the clock maybe like you said, concierge therapist. I think that's a good way to put it. Concierge therapist. Yeah. with kind of a similar objective of like, okay, with this, but in, in terms of insurance billing and with people just kind of, that we deal with day in and day out mm-hmm. that's not really feasible. but it's interesting though, to maybe have one or two to kind of, focus on Is that something you would be interested in if you were, if it like, obviously if it were, within, like say, okay, I'm available to you. Like if you pay this fee upfront, like Monday through Friday from nine to five or something. instead of having to worry, okay, I only have to worry about these two or three clients. I feel like I've worked so hard over the years to set boundaries for myself because of my past jobs. I didn't have boundaries and I feel like I always let my work take over. Whether I was working nights, weekends on call, answering emails on Sunday night, interrupting family dinners, having the effect on vacation. So I really felt like my past jobs affected my mental health and my health and everything. So I think if I were to do something like that, I would have to. Have some limits of like, okay, I'm on, I'm here with you every day, Monday through Friday, or maybe Saturdays till four. there would have to be some boundaries because I don't ever wanna get into a situation like I was before. In my past life jobs. Right. Yeah, that's a really good point because I think that kind of defeats the purpose of it is that these people would want somebody accessible At any point, you know, and, and probably, you know, crises don't happen within a certain timeframe, but at the same point, you know, for people like us, and I agree with you with like the boundary thing and like setting that and everything. I'm at that point too, where I don't, I think it would kind of just, it wouldn't, it wouldn't work out, you know? So it sounds good in theory to be like, oh, okay, I'm available to you during these times, kind of thing. But it, more than likely, people would probably have stuff outside of that and they'd be like, well, what's the purpose of this? And it probably would. I mean, there are probably therapists that do that and would love to do that. Like, especially if they're, you know. Don't have bad work experiences in the past and like aren't, don't have PTSD from their past jobs. Yep. Yeah. So I mean like, but I mean it could be, it could actually be really fun, like if you do that, especially if you have two or three the clients that you love and you're just like, okay, this is really good. I think it would be more like coaching. I think that would kind of violate, some feelings of privacy and us getting too enmeshed in their lives and then us setting boundaries and then knowing us as people. Like if we're spending that much time, I'm not saying that that's, a bad thing to a certain degree, but I think it would push the limits of it. Yeah. so it would be very tough, but I don't know, maybe some people are able to find a model that works for them. I don't know, but personally I would not be interested in it because I think it would kind of defeat the purpose and then you just feel guilty and stressed out and worried about them when you're outside of that time. Yeah, I don't think I could do it. No.'cause then, then you do, you're always tied to your phone. Do you have to see them in person because it's like a concierge, like, you know, they probably want more, you know, like it's, right. So you're kind of on call, like even if you say like, I'm not available, you kind of are on call. Yeah. Then you only see people in your town because you wanna be like, okay, I have to see them in person within 20 minutes or so. I guess there'd be a lot of different things you'd have to see when you create the contract. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, it really would be really tough, I think. Yeah, that's what I was thinking of all of that and watching this movie, I couldn't help but think of the practicals of that, and I was like, I know it's a movie. It's ridiculous. I know therapists are, you know, we don't even know if he's a psychiatrist or a psychologist. Yeah, they just call him doctor. or if he has the degree that Dr. Phil has, like I,

Tanya: 32:51

yeah, yeah. Sports psych,

Erin: 32:53

Yeah. And I mean, so we don't really know what it is that, you know, and it's a movie. Yeah. So it's really, you know, right. About, thinking about that, but I just couldn't, it like made me ugh, like anxious Just kind of thinking about that. But then I was like, it was just, it was funny and Right. so you know, buddy really. Pushes the limits with Dave and he's like, you know, this starts to move in on Linda. And basically is just like slowly taking over that relationship and then, gets her to say, oh, we need time apart with Dave. And then he discovers that a buddy is dating her. Thinks that, you know, they're going to a ball game and he thinks, oh my God, I told him my idea of a proposal. He is gonna propose to her. Buddy must have told the guys in the group, okay, this is what's happening. You guys need to go to Dave's house and let him know. That I am at the Yankees game, And the girls to like attend with him and to go to that restaurant kind of thing. so that's another thing that's really tricky, like getting people involved that are like also getting therapy to help someone else getting therapy. Like it's just a whole mess there. yeah. So they must have been kind of in on it, at least in that part. And maybe they got free therapy for doing that, you know?'cause it doesn't seem like Super ethical all the time. and it's interesting'cause that was like the last thing. He's probably like, oh gosh, if, if Dave does not come to the game and do something, then he's failed. you know, this has to be the thing that's gonna trigger him and he was probably so happy when he saw him get onto the field and then Woody Harrelson lets him, lets him on. He is like, okay, I gotta go. And then, buddy runs to the, you know, up to the, wherever it is,

Tanya: 34:33

bike.

Erin: 34:33

Yeah. and then still I was like thinking like, oh my gosh, buddy, he's such a jerk.'cause I still had no idea what was happening. I was just thinking like, okay, buddy's gonna. make them put the, you know, will you marry me right now? not realizing that he was in on it and he was, on team Dave. He wanted Dave to propose. This is all like yeah, just to get him to express his feelings and to not procrastinate Say, take what he wants and do what he wants. Yeah. I mean, some of the lessons were kind of like, okay, he attacked, he attacked him and gave him like a broken neck or whatever, or sprained neck. And at one point when he said that they're in love, he attacked him. And then he also got into a fight with a monk. some of the lessons were like kind of. He responded in violence, which he was like, okay, let's keep working on this. So this was kind of like the, okay, yeah. Something that's really important to him. Is he gonna fight for this? And he did. And Linda's like, okay, I will accept this, or if you kiss me in front of all these people, and that's, and he wouldn't even kiss her in public, like, you know, at the airport. He would shake her. He shook her hand because he is like, all right, somebody's looking. I can't, I can't kiss you if somebody's looking. Yeah, he's got a high amount, high amount of social anxiety. Very much. You know, you pass. Yeah, yeah. You know, and then Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Then we got to see, he definitely learned his lessons. Yeah. Then, yeah, I, we were talking too, like even Rudy Giuliani was in there, you know, like that was when, before he became how he's now, you know? But he he was when he was beloved. Yeah. When he was beloved. And you know, the, I remember the person's name, it's Rob Snider. That does that. You can do it. You can do it. Yeah. He throws that in. He is, it's like a running theme in in his movies. Yeah. His cast of characters and themes and people and yeah, it's, it's all Adam and we love it. Mm-hmm. yeah. So. He learns, you know, Hey, you gotta fight for this because you could lose it all. You could lose your, your girlfriend that you love, the person you love. You could lose your freedom. You could go to jail and you know, if you attack people'cause you haven't spoken out against this the whole time kind of thing. And yeah. And so he learns like, Hey, this, this is worth fighting for. When it's kind of on the smaller level. I can't avoid it because I could lose all of this. That's kind of the big lesson. Which is definitely works. And then, you know, everything's great. He graduates from therapy, they hold a graduation ceremony and sing. I Feel Pretty, which is encircle each other, holding hands and whole group. Yep. And Dave plays a whole joke on them, like, like pretending like somebody's coming after them and to, to scare them to kind of show like, Hey, I'm in control. I can, I can stick up for myself. Yeah. The guy from, he's like, oh, are you buddy Rydel? Yeah, so everything works out great movie. Can't do that in therapy. No. Obviously it's not in real life, but no, good, good movie. And it's fine too because honestly, when we picked this movie, like I was telling you, I was like, I know I've seen this movie, which once, once I, once it finished, I was like, oh yeah, I saw this movie, but I. Forgot the whole premise of it. So it was a nice surprise because I did not even realize that, Jack Nicholson was a therapist. I had no idea that I just figured Adam Sandler was this angry guy. You know, I was thinking it was gonna be the opposite. I was thinking like Adam was just like a hot head the whole time and was trying to calm down, but he wasn't. Yeah, I, I had a similar like, I don't know, memory or whatever that's called, the, the butterfly effect or whatever, that they're, what is that Mandela effect? The Mandela Effect, yeah. That they're calling it or whatever. I don't know. I, I don't know if that even applies here, but Yeah, I thought the same thing. I was like, I kind of had these memories of it that I was like, I'm thinking of another movie, so I think we were thinking of, but yeah, so. Are you ready for? Yes. This is my favorite part. Our challenge question? Yes. Oh, a challenge? Yes. Okay. well, I guess maybe not a challenge. Maybe a fantastical challenge. Okay. So if you were to conduct the same type of therapy mm-hmm. That Dr. Wright does, except, you know, obviously like not, you know, whatever, if you were able to do that. Yeah. What would your area of focus be? Oh, for that? What would you wanna do? Oh, I would do some, like he does anger management. Yeah. But like, you know, so this is making me think of Mari Povich. Like, or, or was it Marvi Mari Povich or Geraldo that would all of a sudden, like you're like, oh, you're afraid of spiders. Guess what? Now there's a whole room of spiders or you are afraid of this. Like he did the ultimate exposure therapy. So I would like to, like if I did something like that, I think it would be fun to, maybe not anger management, but maybe even try to find, okay, what is someone's biggest, like their phobia? So they're afraid of. Spiders. Well, spiders I would not wanna do, but if they're afraid of like funny rabbits or they're afraid of like Monty Python or something, but like if they're afraid of something, some sort of creature or something, I would like to figure out their phobias and do exposure therapy of like, oh, you don't like trains. We're going on a big long train ride. Oh, you don't like this. We're gonna go, you know, skydiving. I'm not gonna skydiving. But if we did something like, I would like to do something like that.'cause I think that would be kind of fun. Like specific phobias. Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny. That's exactly the way, that's exactly what I was thinking. Like I, I thought about my answer to this.'cause I, I actually thought about this last night as I was falling asleep for some odd reason And I was like, I would do specific phobias because I, I think that probably feels more concrete and feels like it would be beneficial mm-hmm. For this. so that probably feels good to be able to do, but Yeah. I agree. I think it would be, kind of satisfying to be able to see and be like, okay, what is something that we can make some progress on That we can see and help this person through this And see the results. And I think too, that feels more like you could do, it could be more behavioral focus too. Like if you need to have that data, like, okay, well they lasted one second, or they didn't last at all. Or we had to, you know, it Ted back like 10 steps and now you know, whatever. it could be interesting and I instantly thought of like, I think all of them did it. I think Geraldo did it. I think Montel did it. I think Jerry Springer did it the most. Yeah. Honestly. Oh, I'm sure he did. Here's a room full of snakes, you know, like, yeah, yeah. Oh, you're afraid of your, I don't know, clown confronting your, your child's, potential father and like, not knowing who it is. Oh, they're here. They heard everything. Here they are kind of thing. Let's do it right now. The better the confrontation, the, you know, the. Funny. But yeah, so that's anger management. ours would be phobia, it would be a management phobia fighting or something. Jerry Springer, whatever we would come up with, you know. Or else if you could do a Jerry Springer style therapy, that might be fun. I would totally not do that because I would be like, oh my gosh, we cannot do this until first. No, I would not do, I don't even wanna do family therapy or couples counseling, so I would not wanna do Jerry Springer style, but yeah, I'm sure some people would love that. Yeah. That might be their, their niche. I don't know. But yeah, so that, that's anger management. Let us know what you think. if we left anything out or something else you found. Funny, entertaining some other points about mental health or just in general. we like it all. And next show, we're gonna get away from Adam for a minute, but he's coming back. Don't worry. and again, as always, if you guys ever have any suggestions or. Eighties, nineties, or today of anything. It doesn't have to just be Adam, but let us know. Yeah, we do really like Adam, but yeah, he is great. yeah, so, you know, don't forget to like, subscribe, follow, we're on all the socials, including YouTube, so you can see our lovely faces. Mm-hmm. And, follow along. But yeah. So, yeah, I think that's it. don't forget, stay wicked and keep your mind well. All right. Have a great week. Bye. Bye guys.