Big Daddy, Failure to Launch & the Fear of Adulting – Why Your 5-Year Plan Might Be BS

In this week's Wicked Psychotherapists, Erin and Tanya dive into the 1999 classic Big Daddy—a hilarious Adam Sandler film that surprisingly packs a serious punch about arrested development, generational pressure, and why so many people get stuck in "failure to launch" mode. 

From fake five-year plans to learning how to adult (badly), we talk about the fear of growing up, why career pressure is real, and how the smallest relationships can kickstart major change. 

We also share our own floundering paths, our favorite ice cream memories, and what to do when life feels stuck. It’s funny, honest, therapeutic, and totally wicked.

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Transcript

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You are listening to Wicked Psychotherapists, a podcast where two psychotherapists show you that taking care of and learning about mental health doesn't have to be wicked hat. Hey everyone, it's Tanya. Hi, it's Erin and welcome to Wicked Psychotherapist. So today, welcome back or welcome if this is your first time. we're gonna be continuing our obsession, with Adam Sandler. And talking about the 1999 classic. big Daddy. we decided to talk about this because, well, Adam Sandler, but also it has a lot of themes in the movie that are presented that we think are, are interesting, but just it's hilarious. classic Adam and some other people in there that, I actually just remembered Kevin is played by. John Stewart. John Stewart. Yeah. And he's got his, he's got, Rob Schneider in there. Of course his buddies around him. And the guy who plays, Steve Buscemi, who plays the, homeless guy. And then also, I never can remember this poor guy's name, but the one who, was in Mr. Deeds and was pretending to be sick. And, you know, like worked in the, airport, like on the landing area. Like he's always in all his movies too. I don't remember his name either. And hopefully if you're an Adam fan like us, you remember it too. Yeah. You're like, oh yeah, that's, that's how. And so, yeah. But, yeah, so I, I rewatched this again. I definitely saw this back in the nineties, right at the turn of the millennia, which is so, so scary to think about. That was 26 years ago. let's take a breath for that one. But, yeah, it's this, this movie is pretty classic because it talks about, and kind of goes over how Adam Sandler's character, Sonny, Sonny Koufax, he's just kind of this freewheeling bachelor. He's not really serious about anything. He is like in his early thirties, 32. he was going to law school. I don't know if he quit or just didn't continue on with it afterwards. but he, is coasting in life, not really doing anything He's kind of just goofing off, messing around at the park. He's trying to trip escape. It's like, what do I do? Let me just throw sticks at them or see what happens if gets into their wheel. I have nothing else to do during the week. I can't stop, whatever. I watch that movie. I can't get those images out of my head for a while. he wants to, casually puts a stick in there and is like, oh, and the skateboard go flying headfirst into the pond and he is like, oh, there's a stick there. You might wanna watch out for that. but he's that level of maturity right in this movie. yeah, so he very much is kind of a, he is riding off of this settlement he got from a car running over his foot two years ago or something like that. And kind of acting like that set him back. But really it's himself that right. he's set back. He's just kind of, you know, doing nothing. he's eating cereal, watching cartoons and tripping people at the park and going and visiting his friends and just kind of, you know, working one day a week as like a booth operator. Nothing against that, but doing the bare minimum Of what he maybe could, he kind of gets stuck at this age or this time period. You know, just not wanting to move on. Just frozen. He's got the failure to launch, arrested development kind of thing going on. he's really, hapless and the first scene that we see him and he's fighting with his girlfriend because she's just fed up with him. She knows that he's. A lay about, he is not doing anything with his life. She's just tired of it. He's immature. And, he's like, well, you know, I really don't, I don't want you to, to, to come on. Like, don't leave me. And she's just like, no, you don't have your stuff together. I don't wanna be with someone like that. And so right off the bat, you see he's just all around. Not winning in life at all. he's losing, and then from that point on, he is just, depressed. his whole focus is, how do I get Vanessa the girlfriend back? you know, he's got this contentious relationship with his roommate's girlfriend who becomes his fiance. He doesn't want his friend to propose to her at the party. So he. Kind of ruins it and shouts it before his roommate gets a chance to do it. he's stuck in time and he wants his friends to kind of be stuck with him. But they're all moving on to jobs and, they're all lawyers. he, formally was in school, but just didn't finish. So he's setting up kind of a life of isolation of not being like what we used to term slacker. Right? Yeah. You know, or maybe still do, I don't know. he's just not, he's just not, going anywhere. And he's, you know, saying, oh, I'm happy and this and that, but he's realizing everybody else is moving on. And that's what makes them unhappy. And they're not really liking that they have to. Pay his bills or take care of him and it's just not cute or funny anymore. It comes to a point when you're, when you start advancing in life or you start having this career and you have this person who, yeah, who's just kind of has the failure to launch It's hard to be around that when you wanna grow up or you wanna not be stuck in that immaturity. Yeah. And I think Sonny also uses the accident. Like he kind of tries to make it out like it's bigger than it was. I think his foot probably needed some help a couple years back, but it's probably been fine. he just kind of keeps spring that up. Like to his girlfriend when she was leaving, he was like, I had an accident. You know, like it's, I have a disability yeah, he uses a lot of excuses I think he's realizing everybody else is moving on and he really doesn't want to, something is just keeping him stuck there. Mm-hmm. It's like a fear. A fear of maybe moving, fear of becoming an adult. And maybe he doesn't wanna become like his father too, because his father is a lawyer, a successful lawyer? maybe Sonny's just like, I don't wanna be pressured into it, or I don't wanna become like him. Yeah, because his dad is kind of an overbearing, authoritative, not so, understanding person. And maybe he sees that as like, I don't wanna turn out to be that way. And maybe he thinks if he goes down that career path, he'll be the same. He'll just do repeating history, so maybe he just stays stalled. Yeah. Just guaranteed that that's who I'll be. But it's not, and I don't think Sunny's able to see that. So instead it's just like, I'll just stay. Home and just eat my cereal on the couch. Do. Yeah. And I, I do think it is a, a pivotal moment. Of course, when, this young boy who's like, what, five or so Julian shows up at his door, just gets dropped there, there's a message saying like, you're the father. He ends up figuring it out that it's for his Kevin, his roommate Who's in China at the time doing business or whatever. And so he decides, well, I'll, I'll take him in until Kevin gets back and, take care of him. Like how hard could it be? Right. And, he learns it's pretty hard. It's not that simple. it's not even close to having a dog. Often imitates caring for him by putting down newspaper if he wets the bed or spills something on the floor. Yeah. He just like, we'll just hide it. We'll just cover it. We don't even need to clean it. That's it. Yeah. And so, yeah, he starts teaching Julian, all these methods that are just so, not helpful. Yeah. not development. Just frat boy. Mentality of like, all right. Drop it and let it stay. Newspaper that's getting all black and the ink that comes off or whatever. well yeah, well, Tanya's over analyzing every, but, I do that. it just makes me sick, But I'm sure, he does become the smelly kid, so I'm sure he stinks. I'm sure he is not. Being told, okay, let's put on some clean underwear or whatever. It's just like, all right, this will do, get dried off. No, I'm not blaming the kid. I'm blaming Sonny. that's so gross that the kid wouldn't know, but, at the time it seems like Sonny was probably, maybe Sonny was even a little depressed or something. So Sonny's not probably high on the hygiene thing either. He's probably not thinking of like, oh yeah, I have to take a shower every day, or let me, you know, so the kid is gonna have to take a bath or a shower each time he pees his pants. he's just not putting himself in the shoes of someone who is taking care of someone else, right? he's not used to really having to go to work and face people and having to, you know, like he works in a toll booth where he can just kind of be in his own. Literal place. Right. Like his own little, kind of bubble. And, probably wouldn't face any if he did show up smelling like pee or sweat or whatever yucky thing, nobody would really say anything. So he's like, yeah, whatever. But he decides he wants this to work because he wants to try and make an instant family to show Vanessa the girlfriend who left him like, Hey. I'm responsible. I have a family. I'm a family man now. Right. You know, like I got a kid and I kept him alive, so I'm a family man.'cause that was one thing that she's like, you're, you're mature. You don't know what you're doing. You're stuck. I need someone with a five year plan. So what better way than saying, okay, well I have a kid, here's my five year plan. Yeah. But, yeah, it's a pretty, it's a pretty poorly thought out one, not to mention he's, you know, committing fraud by Yeah. He could end up in jail. Thank you, Kevin. Yeah. And, you know, all this other good stuff, which again, I know is an over analyzation, but those, those things stick out to me because I am me. there is kind of this point, I think when he starts to realize, oh wait, this is, you know, he shows him these, these tricks, these funny, like. Soms, right where he goes and he trips. you know, skaters at the park, he shows, you know, Hey, that's funny. Go ahead and throw it, throw it in front of people and say, Hey, I got one. And he outside. You know, if you kind of can't find a bathroom and put newspaper down, all these tricks that eventually when, when, oh. And he lets him name himself and he, and he chooses his name, Frankenstein. Yeah. And he is like, all right, all right, that's good, that's good. And he is like, you know, he thinks he is discovered this whole new parenting style and he's just like a genius. And he is like, see, he has to go to school. He does the right thing. I just let him do what he wants. Like kids will get there, you know? And his friends are like, oh yeah, okay, okay, sure. And, but then he realizes he's wrong because the, the teacher wants to speak to him once he does go to school, and it's basically like he's the smelly kid. He pees on the floor or in a plant or whatever, Tries to trip kids by throwing sticks. Throws sticks in front of them He puts newspaper down when he drops something or spills something. It's like not normal behavior. So then he's like, she was like, I've never seen this in like 40 years of teaching. She's like an older woman. So it's like, and all of that didn't affect him until he's like the smelly kid. You can't be the smelly kid. That's the thing that got him. It's like, oh, I made him the smelly kid. Oh, he's the smelly kid. No, no. That's like the worst insult ever. because that sticks.'cause you know, like you always like whatever happens in like middle of school or high school, you're like, you're elementary even it was like, oh my god, you don't want that to stick. You don't want that to stick through all of your years of school. Yeah. Smelly whatever. Yeah. Or stinky whatever. Yeah, yeah.'cause kids will, kids will hang on to anything they can. Yeah. he starts to get serious and is like, okay, we gotta take baths. We gotta set up a routine. We gotta eat some better food. And of course, Frankenstein or Julian, is, kind of rebellious towards that because he's already gotten a taste of like, no, this is what I wanna do, this is fun. Yeah. It's nice having the freedom. It's nice being friends. Hanging out. Yeah. And just kind of eating junk food till I pass out and yelling at the screen and breaking things and mm-hmm. So he gets really, you know, kind of like, okay, I gotta, I gotta try and get this kid to do things. And he's coming up against like, oh, how do I, how do I show routine and discipline to this kid when I haven't been showing it to him? Yeah. Why would he know that? You know, he's kind of, it's just dawning on him now and so he starts to realize like, oh, I've gotta be a role model. I've gotta kind of do these things, but also like come up with a creative way and he dresses up like his favorite toys. Scuba seeds. Yeah. He's like, you gotta stay clean and eat foods that are good for you. Yeah. Thanks Steve. You know, he like all sudden he trying to be, be a really good boy, just doing everything. Yeah. Scared straight. Yeah. School bus. School bus. Steve. Yeah. And he was, he was like, you know that, I thought that was a good creative way of, of handling that. See, you could see that Sonny really cares, you know, he really is starting to, you know, really bond with this kid and see that his own behavior is connected to this kid's behavior. This is like the first time he's had to look outside of himself and. That definitely will change you a little bit and make you grow up. Mm-hmm. And so that's kind of the first right ding there of like, ah, I gotta, gotta do some responsible stuff. but then he tries to get Vanessa back and at this point Vanessa is with an old man, Sid. Yeah. Sid, who's probably like, I don't know. And Sid's probably thirties. Yeah. And Sid's at least 70. He is, he's old. Yeah. He's an old, I mean, for, for them, you know, he's, he is older for them, and she's like, he's mature. He has a five year plan. And Sonny gets mad because he figured, oh, this'll be the perfect plan to win her back. what better way to show maturity than having a kid to take care of and, yeah. He's just upset and really like, oh wow. And then he kind of starts to realize this is a lot. And it didn't even get me what I was setting out to get, which is really, really crappy for the kid. Yeah. I've done all this work, and it's kind of like, oh wait, was I, and the kid's little, like Julian's little, so it's like he's not gonna realize like that he's just a pawn. But it is probably like, oh. Is Sonny not gonna keep me? What's happening? He's not, you know, this woman I thought was gonna be, we were gonna become instant family. Yeah. And he's also in his, you know, when he, Sonny goes back to the, the social services person informs him that Jillian's mother had died. That's why she was kind of, I guess, leaving him with the biological father, Kevin. Realizes he'll have to go into foster care. And you know, Sonny's like, oh, I don't want that. And so he kind of is like, oh, I gotta, you know, I'll keep him until, you know, we can figure something out. he cares enough about that. And he is realizing, oh wait, I care, I made a bond with this kid. And by then, I mean, he's a part of his life. He's going to the park with him. he's trying to teach him like, be kind, like put up signs and be like, be careful over here instead of throwing the stick Even though the Steve BMI's character, the homeless guy, he is like, he goes flying into the pond. Anyways, he is like, oh, hi. And then he just goes flying Steve bmi. I know we've said this before. I wish we might have to go down a rabbit hole of Steve Bini movies. He is just the best. I love him. Yeah, he is really funny. He plays some really funny characters. He's just, he must just be such a character in real life. Too. I do like him. Just so interesting. I didn't like him for a long time for, he reminded me of someone I didn't like But I do like him now. But yeah, you know, he tells his dad about the kid, his dad's like, you're gonna mess that kid up, you know, and nobody really seems to have faith and Sonny's just, really starting to realize, wait, I'm onto something because there's something good here. Yeah. I bond with this kid and this kid listens to me. he's, doing well, after some changes and adjustments. and he's seeing too that he's able to take care of something or someone besides himself and there's a world outside of just himself, which is really opening up things for him. Yeah. And that is probably helping him to have a little bit more maturity. And realizing that, oh, you know, taking care of Julian, making sure that he thrives and, you know, does well in school and gets dressed, gets fed, is probably making him want to become an adult. Making Sonny wanna grow up. Yeah. So he's, they're both kind of growing and developing. Together and this fear of adulthood that he has moving on to the next phase is suddenly not that scary when he can face these other things and realize like, oh, I can, I can do this with this, this kid, and I really care about this kid. It was like through that, but he realized he can move through it. Some of those obstacles and those fears, Yeah, and I think also just, really finding a meaningful relationship with someone. Like, I don't think he'd ever established that even with Vanessa. He just was kind of goofing around on his time. He, played like watch hockey and, wouldn't really, they wouldn't really do anything together, but he developed a good bond with this kid, and he really wants him to. And so I think that really kind of changed his perspective around too. but yeah. And, you know, so we, we see that then the social worker discovers, oh wait, this is not, this is not Kevin, his roommate. This is, and how long it took. Him to real her to realize like, oh wait, this is Sonny Kova and not, not the Kevin that I'm looking for is so crazy. And like, how did he discover it to all of a sudden then if he didn't, like he didn't ask for Id the first time around. Yeah. Like, I don't, I don't know, but whatever. Details, nineties details. Yeah. You know, nineties of it all. but yeah, and he, he's like, oh, well I gotta take him. I gotta take him. And then he realizes how much, you know, They really love each other, you know, really care about each other. When, oh, you know, he's being taken away from me and he's, the only thing he wants is Sonny. Right. You know, that's the person he's been to and he said. I can, I'm not gonna say exactly who stuff, but I can wipe myself. You don't have to worry. I'm here, I can take care of mys, I can do something. He just wants to stay. He's like, I love you. Yeah. and Sonny's just like goes berserk and enlists the help of Layla, who's a lawyer and. His friends who are lawyers, and I guess Kevin somehow gets a whole, like, he's got all these lawyers representing him. Well, and Kevin's not really thrilled at first, about the whole situation. Because he kind of had this life planned with Corinne. And he's, you know, wasn't ready for a child. And he also, then it forces Kevin to have to explain some of his past and try to go back and remember and tell Corin this woman who he wants to marry and be with, Corinne always puts Sonny down for being immature but the person she's going to marry has some skeletons in his closet. A lot of secrets. on the outside Kevin appears to be really mature but he's not able to commit. So he is cheating and he is doing other stuff or you know, it's just, you know, he's just showing it in a different, his immaturity in different way than Sonny has. Yeah. Yeah. I always thought that was kind of, kind of ironic because he seems to be like, oh, professionally he's all above board, but like there's other things that would think emotionally, they went away emotionally, professionally too, but emotionally and, gosh, what is the other word? Why can't I. Personally, emotionally and personally. He's just seems like he struggles. Yeah. Yeah. And then, yeah, they, they go to court for, you know, it's a, to see where Jillian will end up. you know, Jillian says, no, I want, I wanna be with, so, and he cries upset. And people really see how, how much Sonny has grown in this. Yeah. And how he really stepped up and he really, I mean, he could have just, you know, said, Hey, I don't, I, this isn't my kid. And returned him to, to be in a foster, you know, foster family or foster care. And, he actually took this on even though it was tough and he struggled and yeah, he made mistakes, but he still did a lot more than mm-hmm. So, yeah, it really shows his, his character, I think. And then even his dad is there in the courtroom and so a lot of people who really didn't take him seriously or weren't there for him show up at this time. They start to realize how much this is. Helped him grow. That he really does. he has a meaningful purpose here in connection. but that's not how the story ends. It still ends pretty happy. it's not like a neat bow, but it's wrapped up. You know, for the most part. A nice ribbon, I guess. Yeah. And. You know, they, you realize at the end that, kind of skips ahead, you know, and just kind of tells you what, what's happened in the meantime. Mm-hmm. That Sonny is with Layla, who we didn't even actually, we didn't even really mention Layla. Did we? Yeah. Well, okay, so let's quickly talk about Layla. So Layla is Corinne's sister, and Sunny always makes fun of Corinne because she worked at Hooters in the past, and now she's a, is she a pediatrician? What is she? She's some sort of doctor. I know. She's a doctor. But I think Sunny starts to realize,'cause he does like Layla and Layla's so sweet. And she likes, you know, she likes Julian.'cause you know, she's just a nice person. I think that also made, so start questioning his own. Present of not finishing his bar and not being a lawyer.'cause not all lawyers are like his dad. You can be kind and nice and Layla seems to kind of understand, you know, like where so is struggling and not judging, you know, she doesn't seem like she judges him so much. Like, I'll change, I'll do this. And where Layla, it seemed like, okay, it's more supportive. Vanessa had like the five year plan of like, it was just about kind of finance that success based on, in that category. Whereas Layla is very, yeah, sees him and there is a point where she kind of feels like, well, this is too much. I didn't ask you to bring this kid into my life. I don't know if I want this. But then, you know, obviously she changes her mind. And, you see at the end that Sonny has returned to, he is a lawyer now, he's with Layla. They have a baby. And Julian slash Frankenstein, I'm guessing he goes by Julian, is with Kevin and Corrine and calls them dad and mom. Yeah. And then they're at Hooters. Sid and Vanessa are working there. And That's their five year plan. Yeah. He's like, oh, is this your five year plan? Oh, he's like the cook and she's a waitress and Yeah, but Sid's really happy. It's like, Hey, Sonny. Yeah. that's how it ends. It kind of shows The journey of how he grows through this block that he has, and he learns lessons about himself Fatherhood and self-growth and how he sees himself and being what he wants to be and not having to be afraid of it. Right. Because he was kind of put, trial by fire sort of, But yeah, he had to kind of just be thrown in there and then realize what it is he wants and how to get that, I would say a lot of times with examples in real life that people don't necessarily have this setup where they're like, they just dropped outta law school and they're kind of just a little bit floating. It's more like they've been kind of floating for a while. And they don't necessarily have like, just law school to go back to and it's, you know, kind of that easy. I would say there's a little bit more obstacles in the way, but yeah, I mean sometimes you don't, I think I told you I was a floater. Like I had, I dropped out one in probably like three or four different majors before I figured out what I wanted to do. And sometimes you just don't know because sometimes it's like, do I go the same route as my family? or what is it that I should, you know,'cause I know growing up I always had the pressure to become a nurse because my grandmother was a nurse, Uncle was a psychologist. So then I had that pressure, you know, of like, maybe you should do that. My dad has a lot of lawyers in the family, so I was like, oh my God, what do I wanna do? I'll do nothing. So like, it just was like really stressful.'cause I would just try a little bit, like, let me try medical terminology, see if I like nurse and ugh, let me do this. You know? So it was just so, until finally I was like, oh. You know, psychology, you know, I like, you know, started different nonprofit, different nonprofit. I worked at, like working with people and I was like, oh, I like this. And it just made me realize like, okay, I think I wanna become a therapist. So it took me a while. It was like a lot of things. So I wasn't just, working five hours a week like sunny. Just trying to figure out Yeah, that was, you didn't have that luxury of, of just kind of Yeah, I had to, yeah. I had to work more than five hours because I'd probably be homeless. And I think, we know people, we see people. We may have bend those people, right? Yeah. And there's, there's different factors that, that go into that. So it is, it is relatable. Yeah. I think to a degree, I think to, to the amount that he just, you know, maybe. At a certain point was just like, Hey, I just don't wanna be a lawyer. Maybe I just don't wanna be like my, my dad, and maybe I just don't want that type of life that it could just kind of scare him off Yeah. And I, I've definitely had clients, who've had kind of this failure to launch or not really sure where to go and feel like, okay, I'd rather just do nothing than Do something. And, that can be, a fair amount of them. especially in this younger generation, where career change is pretty Standard. And also there is so much pressure now for people, right when they get out of high school, or even when they're still in college they have this expectation, and I know we've talked about this in past podcasts, where it's like all of a sudden I'm gonna be at tier two or three in my company. I'm not gonna just start as an intern. there's this expectation that people want to be management or higher or this high level something. Sometimes you have to just start at the bottom and sometimes people are like, well, if I can't do it. then I'm not gonna do it That happens too. Clients who have that kind of failure to launch.'cause it's like, ah, I don't wanna be in the in-between. I don't wanna do the work to get there, so I'm gonna just stall. Like it seems like, is this gonna be worth it? So I don't really necessarily wanna go there if it's not gonna be worth it to put in all this time. So it can be tough. It definitely is something that we see a lot. I think more and more frequently with the incoming generation to the work world. Probably more. definitely. and they also have a lot of other options that are kind of presented to them with social media. And, you know, jobs you can do at home, ways you can create businesses for yourself. So I think there may be a lot of confusion as to like, should I do this? Yeah. Or should I focus on like creative pursuits it's kind of tough. I think there's more options. I have that stupid algorithm on Instagram. It's like, do you wanna make a million dollars selling stuff on Amazon? Oh. I'm like, oh my God. If it was that easy, people. We all would be millionaires writing our notebooks and I think a lot of people get into that too, of like, well, if I could just do that, then I'm not gonna do anything. I'm just gonna be on my couch. And then it's like the what ifs they're planning. It just becomes hard to move. Hard to make a decision. Yeah. Yeah. I think with all the things that you think, you know, hey, sometimes these, like, I think for our generation it was pretty much like, you go into jobs, you go into careers. You know, and maybe there was a little more flexibility and thinking like, I don't have to stay here. I don't have to stay loyal. not like the boomer generation. Right. But. It wasn't as like, oh, I could do this or I could do that. If I really focus my time and energy and it can, I think it can be kind of overwhelming. Oh yeah. To know what's right for you. Well, and I remember too, I finally took like a college success class or something like that, like trying to figure out what you should take It's like, oh, why didn't I do this before? I spent all this money trying to figure out everything, because it's like, oh yeah, I'll do liberal liberal arts. I'll just be a liberal arts major. Then it's like, no, I don't wanna do that. Oh, I'll do this or that. But then it's like, oh wait, I should 100% be a therapist. You know, like after I took the thing, you know, it's like, or a teacher, which I'm like, no, thank you. But, yeah, so it's just. It's interesting like that, that should be pushed more like in high school before you go into college. So you're not applying for a thousand colleges or trying to figure out what you wanna do. So instead you could be like, Hey, I wanna do this trade, or, you know, what, where I wanna go to college. I think there were some tests that they gave us that like, it was optional to take, to be like, Hey, do you wanna see like what your talents are in? But. it was optional. And I did go and take it, but it basically just told me like, oh, you're strong in science and you're strong in English. And I was like, okay, but what do I do with that? it wasn't really, it's still like you have to, you have to note yourself. yeah. It takes some time. And sometimes it takes, living life and. Having a little bit of adulting, maybe Sonny wasn't really doing adulting before he met Julian, because that kind of forced him out of that. you become 18 or 19, you go into college, or whatever your next step is, but then you're still a kid. Your brain is not fully developed even by the time you graduate from college. So Sonny was just like, I'm floundering until he was kind of forced to really become an adult. Pretty much. You know, some people end up with probably not those exact, scenarios. but some other things that maybe are like, Hey, maybe seeing my friends move on. And, that's what I commonly hear is like, oh, I feel kinda lonely.'cause my friends are doing this and I feel kind of left behind and like, what am I doing? Should I do this? or should I reevaluate what is it I want to move to the next kind of stuff. Or I've had some, because I do see a lot of people in that ages, like in the early twenties, onward. But I had a lot who were like, especially people who went through school and everything at the end of COVID. So like their high school and their college time has looked a lot different than other people, you know, before that. So it's like, oh wait, I'm still living at home, or I haven't moved out, or I haven't done this, or I haven't done any of these firsts that a lot of my friends have already done and surpassed me. So I'm seeing a lot of that where it is like a failure to launch, but it's also like I'm comfortable and I'm safe and now I'm really scared to make that move because this is what I've been doing my whole life and now I am like 26 or 27 or you know, it just really hard to push yourself out of that sometimes. Yeah. Especially with social media where, you know, it's your highlight reels and they see people doing all these amazing things being millionaires by 23, and they're like, oh my God, I am so far behind. And it's really a distortion, it's a distorted view. And so it can, can really be in your face about that. some really good points about why so. Was in that position kind of things that helped him to, to move along, even though this was a very funny, silly movie. I mean, I was cracking up at, at parts. I just, I can't get over the, the pond, the tripping and the flying head verse. It just, it sticks with me. Yeah. Makes me laugh. which brings me to our, question. Okay. Our fun question. I always look forward to these. I actually don't have one that I think I could like ask that applies to the movie. Okay. So I, for some reason I just have ice cream on my Mind. And so I am just wondering Yeah. With summer coming up, what is the first flavor of ice cream that you wanna try this summer? Or what is your favorite ice cream? Okay, so very simple. My favorite ice cream is usually I'm kind of boring. I do like a good French vanilla, but I also really like mint chocolate, green, mint chocolate chip. It has to be green. I don't know why. I always feel like the, white, even though it tastes like mint chocolate chip is not, and then I like to put that hardened shell on stuff. Oh yeah. Yeah. So, that is usually my go-to. butter pecan.'cause I'm an old lady, but I just Oh, yeah, yeah. But I stopped, I stopped liking that. But now, now I went back to vanilla growing up as kids. this is how, I guess, cheap or whatever, my dad, like, we'd always get like the Napoleon ice cream. Yep. Us too. Yep. And then unfold. And then unfold the box. And my dad would slice it. Or you know, like what he would also do, which was so ugh. We were like, what? Like he would sometimes be like, well, your mom likes chocolate. So then my mom got all the, or like if he didn't slice it, he would just scoop it and then my mom would get all the chocolate and then, then like we would be stuck with stupid strawberry. Like, I hate strawberry ice cream. Well, I'll eat it if I have to, but I hate strawberry ice cream because that was like, I was always forced to do the strawberry.'cause my dad liked vanilla. And then as kids, some, I'm like, come on, I want chocolate too. Or I want vanilla. You know? Or, but yeah, like if he would slice it, we'd get all three. But otherwise, if my mom was like. The in charge before he, before he took it out, and you could just take it out and just slice it. It'd always be a weird mixture. Yeah. And I guess it's like the thing, it's like, okay, well if you have a big family and we both come with a lot of siblings and stuff, so it's like, I guess that's the fairway is Napoleon. But who actually chooses Napoleon by choice? I don't know. I mean, that is not my go-to ice cream. Napoleon. I think it's probably, at the time it was probably the only one that had like three flavors. Yeah. And yeah, if you do have multiple kids and stuff, and I don't know, like my sisters and I, I'm pretty sure we just kind of went at it and were like first come, first served kind of thing. I'm getting the vanilla. Yeah, I liked the strawberry. but I just honestly, I was like, if I can get any, just three, you know, kind of thing because it's just like one for all, you know. I did like the Napoleon that had the actual strawberry chunks in it. That was good because sometimes you'd get the strawberry. It was just the flavoring. Yeah. But sometimes you'd can get the Napoleon and you and I like that. I do like strawberry ice cream or any like, there's a bing cherry ice cream That's so good. That public sell. I don't know if this has, oh, that is good. Okay. So bing cherry might be one of my favorite. or chocolate cherry chip. Like that one that's so good is actually a really good one. That's really good too. So maybe those are. That's really'cause I like the actual pieces of the fruit in it. Yeah. That, that always makes it feel like more authentic. Yeah. And yummy. Yummy. Yeah. I've always loved mint chocolate chip and Yes. The green one, it's gotta be the green one. Yeah. that's the one I've always liked. I would say over the past, decade or so, I still love mint chocolate chip, but I tend to, like, Cherry chocolate chip if I can find it. I've never had that. the cherry chocolate chip? Yeah. The, oh, okay. So yeah, I was like, I think I just said that. but I was like, maybe I said it differently. I don't know. But I, I, I, I thought I said it differently. I was like, okay, clearly we're losing our minds here. but yes, you did say it differently, but yes, I know I just said. So apparently I am insane, but yes, I know. It's just that they're not like bing, like it's just like cherry chocolate, ch like in general, whatever's called. Yeah. But those are so good. Those are so delicious. That one. And I, what I've really loved, like, for like a lot is I like, like, I like the chunky monkey or banana ice cream. Like I love, that has like been my favorite for like Ben and Jerry's. Yeah, Ben and Jerry's, like, it's not necessarily even them, but like they just kind of happen to make a great combo there that has banana ice cream. I've never that and I just love it. I've never had any banana ice cream. It's so good. I've had banana pudding. That's one my favorites. Yeah. I. But I, I tend to kind of lean more towards, like, now that I'm thinking about the, the cherry chocolate chip, that one I'm kind of leaning towards more. Yeah. That is really good. Yeah. Publix, where I am from, you know, I, I know there's, I love Publix, but they're pub Publix ice cream brand. I think Publix ice cream is better than like b briar's and stuff like that. I don't know. Mm-hmm. It's probably made in the same company, but it's so good. No. Publix is a good company. I really wish the were Publix is up north. There's just not. you have Shaws and IGA and Stop and shop and Big y those are fine. I'm just saying Publix was the best. Yeah. I love ice cream. I could eat ice cream every day, which is an issue, but I love ice cream. It is good. I tend to, like, lately I've been getting those yaso fudge ice cream bars that are, they're like, They're made with like Greek yogurt or whatever, and they're yum. They're really good. They're like pretty low, you know, if you get the, just the fudge ones. Yeah. Like, it's pretty good. It kind of satisfies the cravings. Yeah. So I kind of get protein, take a lot of those on hand. Yeah. while I'm getting my unhealthy drumsticks, I love drumsticks. Oh my god, this are so good. Oh, now I really want ice cream. I'm gonna go to the store and get like cherry chocolate chip drumsticks. Min chocolate chip. Yeah. Butter. Jerry, your whole cart will be filled. They'll be like, having a party? Nope. Just a craving. No, just me. Yeah. let us know what your thoughts are if we missed anything. Anything that you think, contact us or, Connect with us on all socials. And if there's more Adam Sandler or Steve Bmi that you wanna listen to or anything like that, let us know. We still have, last week you would've heard Happy Gilmore. I think we still have like two more Adam Sandler in this, obsession. There may be more coming up,'cause we still could do, the one where they're all friends. I can't remember that one. Where they're all the best friends are hanging out Grownups. The grownups, yeah. Grownups. One and two maybe. Yeah, that one's a good one. That is good. Yeah. And Yeah, there's a couple other ones I have in mind too actually for like holiday ones. Yeah. I was saying we should do Nick Nikki, but that's so stupid. Like Nikki. Yeah. It's a stupid haircut. Yeah. That's not one of my favorites, but we still might, I mean, it could be Halloween, but here's another Halloween one, the Huby Huby Halloween. Oh yeah, I forgot about that one. I saw that that's on Netflix. Yeah, I saw that once. I probably should see it again. Yeah, he's so dumb. it's pretty cute. I like it. But yeah. So yeah, leave us, a review. subscribe and follow us wherever you follow. Podcast. Not in person, though. don't just we don't like that on social media or, YouTube or Instagram or anything like that. And on our podcast, follow us and share. Like, please send the show to people, you know? Absolutely. And don't forget, stay wicked and keep your mind well. Have a great week. We'll see you next week. Bye. Bye guys. Take care.