How our High School Experiences Affect and Define Us

In this episode of Wicked Psychotherapists, hosts Tanya and Erin explore the significant role high school plays in shaping our identities. 

They discuss the diverse experiences people have during these pivotal years, the importance placed on high school, and the long-lasting impacts it can have. 

Reflecting on their own high school years, they talk about peer groups, the challenge of self-discovery, and how trauma and support systems affect one’s journey. 

With personal anecdotes and insights, they dive deep into why high school remains a defining period for many and how perceptions can evolve over time.

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Transcript

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You are listening to Wicked Psychotherapists, a podcast where two psychotherapists show you that taking care of and learning about mental health doesn't have to be wicked hard. Hey everyone, this is Tanya. Hi, this is Erin and welcome to Wicked Psychotherapist. Yeah, so today we are going to be diving into the world of high school. If you are currently in high school, have just gotten out of high school have been far enough away from it to be able to have forgotten many elements of it, like Erin and myself, may all feel differently to you, and taking a look at what these four, four years hopefully, I don't know, maybe some five years, I don't know, or three or something. Or six years. Some people might have different plans. Six. Yeah. Three to six years. Yeah, let's just say that. That what it may have looked like as a lasting impact or what kind of, impression it's left with you, things that you feel may have developed core memories, or maybe it wasn't that impactful for you and what the differences are. So, I think that the thing that we really want to talk about is why so many people, place so much importance on high school. What is it about high school that makes it such a defining time for us? What do you think is are some of those, aspects that, that contribute to that? Well, I mean, it's funny because in the past we've done, I don't know if we've done more than one episode on high school experiences. I know we talked about Oh my god, my brain. I know we've talked about the Breakfast Club, and I feel like we've even talked about, other 80s, 70s movies, like Fast Times at Ridgemont High and other things, where they tend to focus on the different groups in high school, and how people typically experience high school, and what it is, and yeah, those four years, it's, it is kind of interesting, because you think you're entering so young, because when you Look at what a 14 year old looks like or who is a 14 year old. You're just like a little kid Yeah, and then sometimes you're leaving 18 years old or maybe even older, so it is quite a pivotal four years of your life where You could be figuring out who you are what you want to do for the rest of your life your friends group your style You know all that different things can really start evolving in that four years And that could be one of the reasons why people tend to hang on to it, or it becomes their identity, in a sense. Yeah, I think there's a lot of discovery during this era. it's probably some of the first times, you will be pushing boundaries against your parents, caregivers. Even though there's probably been some other things leading up to this is kind of that first time where there's a setting for it. Right? You know, to developmentally explore, what are my interests? What are things that I might want to do with my own future, career wise? What types of people do I like? Who do I like to define myself as? What do I like to dress as? Am I, into, and this is gonna show my age, am I in the emo group? do I tend to gravitate towards a particular group? Am I not in a group? Do I feel kind of like I get along with multiple groups of people? Because we all know in high school there, there definitely can be divisions. You know, maybe it's, I don't know, I guess, depending on regional in other generational factors. This may be not as delineated as it used to be, at least from what I remember, that there were different cliques, you know, like, you know, people who were quote unquote the preps or like the jocks or, you know, the popular kids. And I know I sound very old but this is the way it was. The squares yeah. Like The people who were like, smart but popular, maybe the kids were kind of smart but not so popular. You know, the goth or emo skaters, you know, kind of that type of thing. That was just my generation, you know, of people, and I'm talking, you know, I went to, school in the late nineties, early two thousands, you know, for for high school. And I think you're really trying to figure out and say, what are my values? What do I stand for? Or what do I want to be? How do I want to represent myself in this world? And This is where you kind of have a little more freedom to start doing that as opposed to like, Oh, I like this because my mom brings me here or like, I've told them I like this so they're going to get me this kind of thing. Like you have a little more control over this time. Well, and it is kind of, it is, becomes more peer driven too at that age. Yeah. In middle school you're starting to have that separation of, you know, like you're still really tied into your family unit, which you, usually people are. You know, if they have healthy families, hopefully forever, but it, you start having that separation a little bit more in high school, where here are people who might have similar interests who accept me for who I am, and that can be very empowering and very freeing too. If you haven't ever experienced that before, or if you grew up in a family unit that was judgmental or you felt unsafe there too, so high school can be A safety for a lot of people. Yeah, for sure. And I think that is something it starts to build your character, it starts to build who you are as an individual, and feel okay, developing some of these aspects, you find out who you are as a person, an individual. And so it's, it can be really exciting can be really, traumatic. It can be really scary. Yeah. It's a lot of different things, but it certainly is, I think, something that does stick with us. Maybe not as much as some people like to a less degree, but there's definitely a lot of, I think, core memories and experiences that maybe are from that particular time period. Maybe not everyone, but. It's usually can be a time for that. And I do think there are people who maybe this was like their peak, right? You know, this was something where, maybe they just loved high school. They love the friendships. Some people peak at different periods, but. This is a time they may want to go back to a lot, you know, maybe they stayed in the same town, or maybe they didn't, and this is A period where it was just like, oh, they had all their friends, they were able to discover this stuff. It was a great time. They felt free. And like, they were able to kind of discover all these things within, you know, a safety net of feeling like, okay, this is a time where I can kind of mess up, but it's maybe expected of me or allowed a little bit, it's a little more socially accepted. Yeah. And if you got in trouble or anything, it's a little, it is a safety net. I mean, yeah, you might end up having detention or something like that, but it's not like you're going to get fired from your job or anything. It's not as big of a deal as it would be when you become an adult. Yeah, but not as high stakes. You know, it's something where you can, and it's something where you can learn from that, you know, and hopefully grow from that to say, okay, maybe I shouldn't, get out the window and skip, you know, 7th and 8th period or whatever, you know, I just got a detention or suspension or whatever, but I didn't get fired from my job because they saw me leaving you know. Can you imagine doing that? Like, you know, cause. Jumping out the window. Oh my gosh, there's been so many jobs that I've wanted to jump out the window of, but. Me too, yeah. Yeah, I can definitely picture that, and I definitely have had that. No, but yeah, I mean, like, yeah, I mean, I remember in high school, you know, cause we had an open campus. and sneaking off and or just running into the woods to leave to go somewhere to skip a couple classes. Yeah, I can't imagine that doing that in a job. Yeah, and that's I mean, I have to say I think there are some people who were very well behaved and maybe academically inclined or just never really got in trouble. for various reasons and then maybe didn't learn those lessons, maybe learned it in college and it was a little bit of a harder fall because there's a little more at, you know, you're paying for your classes. Yeah. You know, and I would have to say I was, I think I was one of those that I definitely was somebody who I was, you know, I always tried to stay in the background. So I just tried to do everything right to not have attention on me, but I burned out and you know, I, there were some things that came back and bit me in college and maybe a little bit beyond that. Yeah. You know that I had to learn the hard way. Yeah. I think it's safer to do it in high school and it's better to do it in high school. Yeah. It's probably not better to do it either, but yeah I definitely was probably pushing the envelope kid in high school and I just, I guess I, again I know we've, you know, everyone probably knows everything about my family now, but I think it was also from, just seeing what I can get away with or just, the negative attention or something. So I probably did push the envelope a little bit more or, who knows what was wrong with me. As a kid, you know, well, it's probably, you know, it could have been a way to get attention. It could have been, you know, yeah, that may be, you know, kind of saying, Hey, there's something going on here. And I don't know how to express it. And this is okay to do here, you know, where it seems like it or my friends are doing it, you know, or my parents aren't even gonna notice or care. Either way. Yeah. And I think, you know, similarly for my, for myself, I had two sisters right above me that I think expressed and were a handful and were always kind of needing a lot of attention. So I, I took the opposite kind of road of like, I can't put this on my mom and I just can't be seen at all because this is just. Too much and I see what it does to other people, but you know, they have their own reasons as well. yeah, I was that way probably elementary through middle. And then I think in high school, I just started to get my voice a little bit and just, I don't know. I don't know. I think for me, it was probably the finding my people and just feeling safe. Yeah. I don't think I ever really found people I felt safe with. I just never really trusted anybody because there was the, you know, all these back to family stuff. Yeah. So I, yeah, and it probably still affects me to this day. I still don't really trust people and still don't really have a good feel about, you know, kind of like socially and otherwise that things will be okay. Yeah. It's always I have to be. Good or I have to be this or else. I'm just nothing and I'm yeah, I'm the worst That was kind of like a big like family dynamic or I'm just I usually was just nothing So, yeah, if you're not getting that support or you're not having a parent when you are Leaving for high school or coming home asking you how was your day? What are you struggling or with or what do you know? What are your big wins? You know, how would you know how to express yourself or why would you want to you know, right? Yeah, if you don't feel safe at home, And some people don't have that safety. They don't have that support and they don't have a structure right like, you know, not having Something where you can experience something like I remember in high school feeling This is gonna sound weird, but I was jealous of people who had like curfews and I was like, oh like you're Like, you're, like, that means your parents are involved and, like, care about these things, but, like, to me, I could be out for days and, you know, I knew my mom knew I was probably at my friend Catherine's house, that was usually where I was but the lack of having structure is really not a good thing when you already feel like you're not very visible, that was not something that was, like, oppressive to me and, like, oh my gosh, it was, like, I wished somebody would have thought of that. cared to be like, Oh, hey, like, you know, maybe don't do this. So like, this is for your safety. Because to me, I just kept thinking, wow, like, how lucky are they? They have parents that would set a structure for them. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I remember, like, especially when it came to the age where friends drove or older friends drove, which that in itself, it's like, but again, it was the 90s. You know, parents don't really, when I was in high school, early 90s, maybe you shouldn't be hanging out with that senior or the person that just graduated high school that's picking you up. Like, you would think, like, parents would be like, okay, and have a curfew and do your homework. And, you know, so that's the type of stuff. If I had a time machine and went back, I wish I, yeah, I wish I did have a little more structure in that sense. As far as. Somebody, I guess, looking out for me, in a sense like that, like just kind of saying, Hey, maybe you shouldn't go out every night, or where are you going, or what are you doing, and it's weird that you've never had homework all year, or, you know, or something, or, you know, just to be seen, or just to notice. Yeah, it's, I think it shows up in different ways and people act out in different ways, right, and that can be definitely a time to express it, or I think there's some people there's a lot of teens and people in high school that I, and again, these are the people I was so jealous of, they just, they wanted to do these like normal things that I couldn't even fathom wanting to do because they just, yeah. It's like if you grew up with support and like normal socializing and things like that, you want to do these things, you naturally, it's healthy to want to rebel and kind of be like, okay, I do want to do some of these things. Like I want to stay out late at night, I want to do this and I want to do that. And, I just remember, you know, that would be like kids like biggest complaints and I was just like I wish I had that means that you're like you're healthy like I just remember I knew that even back then it was very I had a very bizarre like I was very much Adult I was like, I just felt very much on my own And yeah, trauma ages you too when you're younger and because you've seen stuff and you've experienced a lot of other things then Most of your peers probably have. I know I did not probably have like a very I don't know, even know how to say it. Like just, I guess, a very healthy trauma free. upbringing, but I didn't want to stay home. I wanted to leave and I felt like I had to either be gone at high school or be gone out of the house before anyone came home or, you know, because for me, there was a lot of alcoholism in the house and I just wanted to not be home for that. And I knew that For my, part of me, my undeveloped brain knew that I needed to escape it to something else. Whether it was school, or friends, or something. But I did not feel safe being at home, which, I was very jealous of friends that had houses that we can go to and hang out and be, and their parents would have cookies and they would have like, it was like, Oh my gosh, this is like, so normal. They'd be like, Oh, so boring, you know, or something. It's like, Oh my gosh, I love this. Yeah. Remember that too. I crave stability. I could not relate to people who were like, my parents will let me stay out past a certain time and I'd be like, I wish my parent, I wish my mom, like, yeah, noticed stuff like that, like, you know, or yeah, or that I wanted to do that because I crave stability because I'm a little old lady here. Yeah, and you know, this is what I need stability. I don't need that, which is, it's not normal. It's not normal to have that. Yeah. You grow up too fast. Yeah, and I think that's why now, as an adult, or even when I was in my 20s 30s. I was like I am staying home forever, you know, and I think that's why I like to just I like to be home and I feel safe and I feel happy because I've created a house and I have a family that makes me feel safe and happy and you know page but I feel safe I don't feel like I have to run away that for me is very much telling of that I've created the life I want. And yeah, of course there's still other wants and needs and stuff. I mean, I think that always evolves and changes, but I think for me, you know, the hierarchy of needs, I think, you know, I have the first two or three, you know, I definitely have like my shelter and home and I feel safe. And those are big things and you were able to break that cycle of that and that's it. That's a huge thing Yeah, Yeah, no, I totally agree. I think that's why I love working at home, even though I know there can be some downsides, but I don't think I can, I think even working at a different place didn't feel like, even being out in other places didn't feel safe for me for a while. It still doesn't, honestly, sometimes. Yeah I think working, I know we're jumping from high school to jobs and stuff, but it is all connected, but I feel that at different jobs and different things, I would always. It was difficult for me sometimes with like different groups of people just because I you know I think we've talked in other things. I like to chat a lot, but then I would Sometimes I'm very I think it's the high anxiety high trauma from childhood or whatever that I tend to be hyper aware of the good of people or the ill intent Of co workers or bosses and stuff. So it's always been very difficult for me to I don't play well with others I guess or I don't work. Well, I don't work well in groups I don't know. I just it's very difficult for me and you know, so It's good working alone, so I don't have to worry about what other people are thinking or feeling and I don't always have this paranoid thing But just it is difficult when you work in a large company Yeah, and people do get very clicky and you might not have a boss that's very kind or something like that So I've experienced that so for me working from home is nice and it makes me happy Where, like, you know, going back in high school and stuff, yeah, you are forced, they always force you to work in groups, or they force you to do stuff, or you're in Yeah, you're in different classes with people that you would never socialize with before, but all of a sudden, You're together or your homeroom. I don't know if they did homeroom for you with my last name for us It was like, you know, so my last name was MC, so I always was like those people really got to know all the M's I don't know if we did it by we didn't do it by like alphabetically, but we did homeroom I think it was just random actually Yeah, I think ours was last name at least for the first at least I believe just the first few years It was like last names Yeah, and I mean, this is, you know, it's so true. It's like how high school can continue to have its echoes and the rest of your life, right, is what you're saying. Like, you know, even in your working life and, you know, I, that makes me think about people, like, how your relationship with how you feel or think or perceive high school can change in different decades, too. Like, in, you know, maybe in your 20s, and I'm just giving this as an example. I'm not saying this is everyone, but just, You know, in your 20s, it may kind of feel like you're a little more attached to it, you kind of maybe follow it a little more, especially with social media. In your 30s, maybe it's not as much, maybe you still have like a close group of friends, maybe you don't, maybe you're kind of separated from them. And then it kind of, it feels like it kind of gets more distant, unless you're just, you know, you have this core group that you all just kind of stay connected but. I think it can certainly shift throughout the decades, like your perception of it. And maybe you can let go of some things that maybe you always felt like you weren't good enough, or you weren't smart enough, or you weren't popular enough, or you weren't, I don't know, talented enough. And maybe you start to feel that validation in your life, you know, in general. And so maybe you kind of let go of some of those things. And then there's people who maybe unfortunately can't and maybe reside in some of those. You know kind of like they socially still if they see you they're asking you about things back when you were 14 or 15 and yeah, what a weird even remember. Oh my god. That's so weird when you say that but when I think of Going back they get like oh my gosh, that was over 30 years ago, you know like just And Yeah, some people are still stuck in that like it's funny My brother and I talk about that sometime because where we grew up in a small town in New England And some people stay there some people move away But it seems like some of the people my brother was talking about some people He still knows or hears about are still doing the same things that they did in high school and still the same People and say, you know where a lot of people have evolved and changed and you know We grow up and we you know You know, we're still appreciative of our friendships. Like I have, you know, a couple of best friends still that are from high school and I think we've evolved, but we still have friends, but we've changed. You know, we all change. But yeah, but there are still so many people that just, you know, not just even like the quarterback who's like, yeah, that was my best four years of my life. But it's like the, some people just stay and that's, they still keep repeating the same patterns. And I don't know if because they surround themselves with people that keep repeating the same patterns. So nobody really grows. Yeah, and they maybe stay in the same environment and so it gets reinforced and they kind of think, Oh, those other people, they're weird, or maybe it doesn't appeal to them, or they think it's like, they're sellouts they think they're better than us. Yeah, phony or something, which is I have heard when I was in my 20s I would hear some people kind, you know, like they would message me, of course, you know, and kind of be like, Oh, like, when did this happen with you? Or, you know, kind of, you know, like kind of surprised about these things. And I'm thinking like when we grow up, like we grow up, I don't know. Like, I don't know how to answer that. Yeah. It's just, it's interesting sometimes, like, you know, that time can really help to define for some people and they really are just in it. And I don't know if that's like you said, like they just don't have other experiences or maybe they just are in love with the things that they discover about themselves. Yeah. Mhm. But I think it's a it's an interesting thing because high school can really, it can help you to start to see who you are. Personally, I feel like I was just trying to jump out of there and escape, and like, I thought there was some magic formula to like, once I get out of here, I'll figure it out. Yeah. And then I realized, oh, I gotta figure it out, and it was a big fat mess. Think you're always evolving as a person. I think, you know, of course, there's things that. You know, during that time they're going to stick with you, but yeah I think it kind of just depends on your own experiences Yeah, but I think it can be something where, you know, it really depends on the trajectory your life takes your outlook on who you are as people. Some people feel like, oh, you know, these are the types of people that I want to be friends with. This is what I was in high school, and this is who I am, and this is who everybody else is. And they just. That's the way they're comfortable defining life, and personally I think that's really I don't know, like, I don't, like, maybe this is judgmental, but I'll say it. I feel like it's not really Taking any risks. Yeah, you're not really growing. You're not really trying other things and So you can't stay friends with people, but I mean life is for living and growing and discovering yeah, and it's interesting too because especially in high school you find people who you feel might have your same creativeness or like the same music or different things and Often we get attracted to them because maybe they're not conforming the way everyone else is or something or there's but then in a sense We're all conforming to whichever group we decide to stay with and if we stay with them completely forever It is it's really hard to see other things or to have Other interests or views or I do feel like I've I'm still the same person because I still have a lot of the same Thoughts and personality and humor and stuff, you know, cuz that's still probably you know, cuz sometimes I still have 14 year old humor, but I That hasn't evolved all the time, but I do feel though. There's been different variations of myself and I feel like I have evolved through every event Big life event or small life event that's happened to me over the course of The years and decades that have happened since I left high school And I feel like i'm always changing and I hope that i'm always evolving and changing and Those experiences did happen and they did me and some were good. Some were bad some you know, like but I feel as though all of those did It help shape me who I am. I mean, yeah, I could have done without probably a big chunk of them or had them a little differently or had different support or different encouragement in different fronts, you know, whether it be at home or other, or sought different ways for support, but I probably didn't know better or didn't, I wasn't shown. But I think that experience from high school has taught me to Seek it out or to be the cheerleader or the that person for other people now and myself Yeah, which seems like a good you know, if you didn't have that ideal high school experience Which I don't know many people that have but there are some You know, that seems like the best kind of route to be able to, I think, grow and make the best out of these situations that can be really tough. And, yeah, and, you know, I know we're kind of running up on, on time here, but I just wanted to see, you know, if you wanted to say, like, who you, how you think you would define yourself in high school, like, if there were a couple words or in a group, like, how would you say, just sort of, you know, let the people know. Oh, well, I don't think you and I, from what you describe, I think I'd probably be the person you would have been really annoyed at. Like I I was probably really I wasn't annoyed by much. I just ignored. Oh, I was just by myself loud annoying I don't know I tend to hung out with like, like punk rock skater people and I smoked a lot of cigarettes because we had an open campus and we could smoke cigarettes and I just, I tend to choose all of the different electives that were more fun than things I'd get out of, like, you know, more yeah, I just, I tried to have fun and I think I just tried to, I don't know I feel as though I didn't get a lot academically out of high school. I feel like it was more of an experience for me because it was a good way for me to see my friends and people that I really cared about and You know, it's interesting. My I'm gonna give a shout out to one of my friends who listens my friend Jay. He he definitely he and I were talking recently and this is what made me tell Tanya, like, let's Talk about like high school because sometimes even talking about some of the people that I experienced in high school or different things still gives me a tinge of like, oh, Like, you know, sometimes it still gives me a little bit of anxiety. Sometimes I still get really excited and happy and i'm like, oh my gosh How is that still affecting me for so long or why am I still having those feelings? And you know and I don't know but yeah, I feel as though I guess if I mean I Always liked like You know, you know, gothy music and punk rock and stuff. So I guess that would be classified and probably a stoner Yeah, I guess I guess I guess and I think that's really cool that you had experiences over at because I don't think you miss Out on much academically. Yeah, I mean I wasn't probably I probably like the bottom I was not the valedictorian but I just I It took me a few years to figure out who I was and what I wanted to be post graduation. I mean, I think I was just I had a, I was just still experimenting and just trying to figure out who I am and what I wanted to be and how I wanted to be an adult. Yeah. Yeah, and I think that's, you know, I think that, I think a lot of people can relate to that for high school, you know, like that's something you're really trying to figure out, you know, and I would say I really didn't have a definition in high school. I was really trying to just get good grades and not because I was good and not because people, all the teachers love me because they probably didn't even know who I was. I was just trying to get away and figure something else out for myself. I thought the answers were out there and I needed a vehicle to get out. And so that's what high school was to me. And so there was a lot missed in that. And so I, I was maybe just considered like in the smart crowd because I got good grades, but that was just a means to an end to run away from all this. Trauma and to figure out and I thought oh, it's out there somewhere the answer, but I didn't realize though I got a sip. Yeah, see ya later on. I think I don't think I really realized That would be a means to an end until I was like, oh crap. I'm like 20 something. What am I gonna do? You know like I But I think it was I think for me again lack of parental guidance Oh, I definitely didn't have that from any parent. It was very much just like a self drive. Yeah, you were super driven. I mean, it wasn't like, it was a drive to be like, I don't want this for my life. Like, I don't want, I didn't know what it was though. Yeah. But it was, I don't think that was the right direction though, because I definitely crashed and burned and it wasn't, I didn't explore some of the other things that wasn't good. But you know, I think looking from the outside in, some people I went to high school probably just thought I was just, you know. Came from a normal family and just have that support to get good grades and was well behaved and that was yeah Not realizing that you were the one Probably sitting at your desk or your table at home just making sure that you did everything and got the right grades where there wasn't the parents Telling you that you're doing a good job or encouraging you I was just obsessing over everything I thought everything had to be perfect so I could give myself a chance Like it was just this thing and me. I thought that was the only way out. I thought I had it figured out I didn't. Do you feel as though the four years of high school? Was a defining factor of who you are today, you know where you know We talk, you know, we have talked about different shows and different things and in the past And how some people are stuck on, you know, they go to the reunions and they do the different things. And do you feel even the experience, even the academic experience, do you feel like, so, yeah, that was pretty pivotal or, yeah, I could have done without it. Don't feel super attached to it. I think academically, I've, I thought that since I had been my whole life, like a straight A, like perfectionistic student that I had to uphold that, it took me a long time to get rid of that and to realize, like, Oh wait, I was doing that out of trauma, and that actually was not good, and that doesn't mean that's who I am. And so in that regard, like, kind of a reaction against it, I think, and, you know, kind of realizing, oh, I wish I had discovered more of who I was, you know, like, I did figure some things out, but they were not as much, you know, of an effort as academia and stuff, so I don't know, like, in a way, yeah, it was, but in another way I had to, like, really reroute myself. I still do sometimes. Still is, but it's definitely way more settled now. Like, way more, that I don't care if somebody were to be like, Ugh, like, you used to be like a straight A student, and like, I mean, it's not like I'm I don't know what I would be doing that people would say I'm not a straight, I don't know, like, I don't know what that would be, but if it didn't fit their mold of who I am, like, I would just be like, okay that's your life, that's your brain and stuff, you're still living there. Yeah, you don't know who the real me is, which, yeah, that's hard to, yeah, that is hard to, Have people understand, you know, who you are today versus who you were, or who they thought you were. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, I don't even, I didn't even know myself. So, like, how could you have known me? You know what I mean? Like, I was real, I was running scared on, like, trauma fumes. So, I, you know, it was not, as I'm sure a lot of people were. You know what I mean? Like, in different ways. Yeah, and they probably were. I mean, like, yeah, imagine all the people who we don't know what was really going on, and they just had these different personas. Yeah. Yeah. It's just the ones that annoy me that are you're doing something, you're being fake or phony, like, I mean, especially, I haven't heard it in, in, Probably like, you know, a little bit, you know what I mean, but it's, I haven't heard it like fairly recently, but there's people that, you know, like in the 30s and stuff that I'm like, are you kidding me? Like, you're still thinking this is how life is? You're not even gonna say like, oh, hey, are you still like this or what's going on with you? And like, Try to get reintroduced. You're just gonna assume things are the same. It's a little weird. Yeah, that's kind of strange Yeah, it's like time stopped. But yeah, and maybe for them it did And that's I mean if that works for them fine, but it doesn't work for me I don't want to be in that place. And also it takes effort if you're reconnecting with somebody especially from decades to get to know who they are now And just not who they were in 10th grade, you know cuz Yeah, like I said, like, life happens. People evolve, people change. Yeah. So, I mean, a lot of things can, you know, affect you in high school or can maybe, I don't know, maybe some of you are still there. I, you know, and again, there's no judgment. It's just a matter of knowing that, you know, I do think we are here to grow and to evolve. So I think it might be worth it to kind of go outside of. You know, maybe the place where you lived or the mindset or hobbies or people that you know it's always worth it to discover because there really is a whole world out there and just being who you are in high school and The same types of people being around them. Yeah, or challenge yourself. Yeah, it's for a very small bubble. Yeah, but yeah, let us know what you think about this because there's a lot of you know, I know that we Is This is, this may be closer to some than others, or it may be further away like this for us, you know, and we have a different perspective, or even further away for some other people that are listening. But let us know what your perspective is and what you feel about that and how you see that and if you've experienced some of the same things or, you know, there's some other things we didn't bring up, but Yeah. Yeah. We hope you enjoyed this and, you know, just don't forget to follow us on Instagram, at Wicked Psychotherapist, on Facebook, we are The Wicked Psychotherapist. Subscribe, follow wherever you listen to podcasts. And write us a review that helps us. Yep. Thank you for the reviews we have. Yeah. Yeah, those are really great We appreciate them. And don't forget stay wicked and keep your mind. Well, all right. Okay. Bye. Bye Bye guys All right We Wish You a Merry Christmas I don't know. I don't know.