A Wicked Look At Valentine's Day

Join Tanya and Erin, the dynamic duo behind "Wicked Psychotherapists," as they take a deep dive into the enigmatic world of Valentine's Day. In this engaging episode, they explore the multifaceted nature of this celebrated day, delving into its cultural significance, personal reflections, and societal expectations.

From humorous anecdotes about bears feasting on packages to heartfelt discussions about self-love and expressions of affection, Tanya and Erin offer a refreshingly candid perspective on Valentine's Day. Whether you're a die-hard romantic, a skeptic, or somewhere in between, this episode promises to entertain, enlighten, and perhaps even challenge your views on love and relationships.

Discover why Valentine's Day isn't just about roses and chocolates—it's about embracing love in all its forms. Tune in to "A Wicked Look at Valentine's Day" and join the conversation with Tanya and Erin as they navigate the complexities of this beloved holiday with their signature wit and wisdom.

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Transcript

0:08

You are listening to Wicked Psychotherapists, a podcast where two psychotherapists show you that taking care of and learning about mental health doesn't have to be wicked hard.

tanya: 0:31

Hi, everyone. This is Tanya.

erin: 0:32

Hi, this is Erin, and welcome to Wicked Psychotherapist.

tanya: 0:36

Yes. Welcome. So today we have an interesting topic. It is very relevant to the date and the time period that we're in right now that you will be hearing this. We're going to be discussing Valentine's Day. So the different ways that we have experienced Valentine's Day in different phases of our life from, you know, maybe childhood, middle school, high school, and then as an adult. How that changes, maybe what some experiences are, expectations, things like that but let's start out with kind of a just a general question of, you know, I want to ask you, what are what are some good memories? That you have, or, you know, maybe you weren't a big Valentine's Day person. You know, but I know you work, so we've talked about it, but what are some good memories that you have a Valentine's Day? Like, what was your Valentine's Day like, you know, in, in middle school when it was like that fun time, right? You know, like what were, what was it like for you? Was middle school fun? Did I say middle school? Oh, I meant to say elementary school. Elementary school. When you were young. Like with the cards and, you know, candy and everybody gets that. Like, I don't know, maybe that's not the way it is now, but that was for our generation it was. No, it was.

erin: 1:54

I was just joking. You know, because middle school is like

tanya: 1:57

Everyone's Yeah, middle school was not the that's where it started to get for well, for us, from our perspective, it started to get not so fun. Yeah,

erin: 2:05

no, so when I was little, and I think even in middle school, my mom always did a big to do for every holiday. She was very She did those right. I know I know you guys hear throughout the because I'm very open about different parts of my family and different things. I don't know if they appreciate that, but I, but I, sorry

tanya: 2:30

I'm just going to cover my face, I'm making her laugh because I keep laughing. Yeah but

erin: 2:34

my mom is really good at holidays. About showing, you know, we mentioned a few episodes ago about love languages and what they are. So, but my mom's love language is, was probably gift giving and showing, you know, who knows what her family did and maybe she was trying to really show up for us. But she went for Valentine's, we always got like the little tiny like little red heart or that Whitman's. Like the little Whitman's chocolate with the, remember the little chocolate with the little guy? Like with the guy Dilverne, Dilverne male, or whatever the package was. Was it, was he carrying a Whitman's chocolate box? I mean, but I always thought he was carrying a male. Maybe he was, but.

tanya: 3:19

That's actually, yeah maybe we should research that, yeah, I didn't even think of that. But he, I wonder

erin: 3:23

what that was. Yeah, so we'd get that, maybe some chocolate, maybe some candy or something like that. And, yeah, so it's, it was really nice. So she did that well, and I remember getting the the little, what do you call it Little cards that you sent to your friends, the,

tanya: 3:40

Little Just like the Valentine's Day cards. Yeah, like Snoopy.

erin: 3:42

Yeah, like I just think of Snoopy or something like that. And yeah, so I don't know. I mean, what about you? Did you do anything for

tanya: 3:50

elementary? Yeah, I definitely, like, I did kind of like that time. And my mom was similar to yours. She you know, she would give us, like, little things of chocolate, kind of things like that. And then also we would make up cards for everyone in the class. It was kind of a rule that you know, had to make it up for everyone in the class. The little, like, themed packs or whatever. I think sometimes we would make them, you know, like, ourselves. But it was always It was just kind of nice to get, you know, little cards and see what everybody has. I do have to say there were some points where I was I would see some of the cards, I just remember this right now, but I would see some of the cards and I'd be like, Oh, I wish I could have gotten like that. Like, we could have, you know, like the kind of like more expensive cards you can tell, you know, but I mean, it was still really nice, you know, it was like, you got little candies and. It was just a time like we'd have, you know, we'd make in class like our own little like baggies or whatever, you know, and just kind of drop it in and maybe somebody would reveal like a secret crush or something, which I always was embarrassed about. But looking back it's cute, but yeah, it was, I would say it was. Pretty good. You know, it was kind of a nice holiday, you know, in, in childhood, right? And then we get to, like, middle school. How was your experience for middle school? My tone has changed.

erin: 5:06

Womp womp. No, middle school I don't know. I mean, I just remember I had a couple close girlfriends throughout middle school. And, you know, maybe one or two of them had, you know, the boyfriend that they held hands in the hallway. I never had a middle school boyfriend or anything. I don't know. I think we've got emotionally immature at some points. And I still am. That's middle school. I mean, yeah. And, but I do remember, like, there's so much pressure of, Getting the carnations or, you

tanya: 5:40

know how they have the Because your school would sell the flowers or whatever and just like send them to

erin: 5:43

people. Oh yeah, like they would have the Order these carnations, the pink or the white or the red or whatever they were, to your class, which I think is such a really dumb it's a really dumb thing to do. Because then you're gonna have all these kids, have all this pressure. You know, so this is I'm gonna get on my little carnation soapbox for a second. Because it hurts kids feelings who don't get it. And maybe I was a kid who didn't get them all the time, but also it puts this pressure, like, what if their parents don't give them money? What if? Right.

tanya: 6:15

Yeah.

erin: 6:15

And then and then like, what if they're, you know, what if they, you know, don't receive it? So, yeah. So I, I remember like in middle school, all of a sudden it's almost like you realize, Oh wait, I don't have a boyfriend or I don't, you know, like, which I really, I didn't think it was a big deal until you see, like, the Cardassian Day, you know, but my friends would send it, we would send it to each other, and it just, it is kind of, yeah, but you see, like, the popular girls, like, with, like, you know, a million, and it's like, all right, this is

tanya: 6:48

so dumb. Yeah, it was I agree. It was kind of, I mean, like, honestly, I was, I know I've talked about this before and I'm a weird kind of alien person. I was, I just wanted to disappear and not be there, but I still felt that as well, on some level, you know, that it was like. You know, you see all these people getting, you know, these, the carnations, and it just made you feel, if you felt invisible already, you felt even more invisible. Yeah. I would get them from, like, a couple of my friends, like, especially Catherine. Catherine knows she would, she was always very nice and would send them you know, just to, you know, which I think now I'm like, wow that's the best one you can get, you know what I mean? Like, I'd rather get it from a friend, you know? Yeah. But. You know, yeah, it's true. I think what you say it's so hard because you're starting to look at, you know, like, oh, people are like, oh, we should be dating. We should be doing this. And there's all this kind of social pressure of, like, do I have a boyfriend? And you're kind of still. a child, but you're kind of expected to couple up. And then when Valentine's day comes around, there's all these like kind of adult ish things to, you know, be there. And then you kind of feel weird if you're not there. And yeah, it just makes you feel kind of, you know, looking around being like, Oh, you know, somebody comes in class and it's in front, like, I don't know if your school did this, but I remember they would distinctly, it would be like, Oh, flower person. They knock on the door in the middle of class. And then they just come in and deliver it in front of everyone. It's so embarrassing, like, I mean, I was kind of glad I didn't get it then, but then I was still like, oh, but it's still kind of like you get a flower, you know? Yeah,

erin: 8:17

Or the one person who gets like seven in class, and then you're like, all right, where are they now? You know, but it is just kind of, yeah, it was a weird time, but my mom still throughout that time and throughout high school too. Would still do the little box of chocolate. Maybe yeah, maybe some new socks or a stuffed animal or something like that Every valentine for my sister and brother and I and it's nice. So that was you know, that was nice and then You know I'm sure my girlfriends and I still did something for each other, you know, just throughout that. Yeah. Throughout middle school.

tanya: 8:53

Yeah. And I mean, the same for me, like, my, you know, my mom, I think, continued probably up until I was in high school, you know, like, she just a little cute things, you know, nothing, you know, big, but it was very thoughtful, I think, you know, and I never really thought much of Valentine's Day, even leading into high school that's where the big kind of pressure of like, Oh, are you, who are you dating? And who are you going to go to the dances with? You know, kind of thing like that type of pressure kind of, kind of pops in there. And we're speaking from our generation, you know, maybe this is not the case. I don't know how kids are. I don't know. I don't know, like really, it's kind of, it may be different, but it maybe isn't. So yeah for high school, what was what was it like for you? I don't know. I'm not, and it was kind of a blur.

erin: 9:36

It's like, I don't know. I mean, I don't really remember high school that much for high school. Various reasons, but you

tanya: 9:43

choose to just keep that in a box filed away somewhere. No, but I understand

erin: 9:49

Again, I was never I don't know I think I dated like one or two people that went to my high school at a time, but I don't know it wasn't really I never really felt that pressure of You need to do something on Valentine's during that time. I still had The one or two friends who, it was so important for them to have a boyfriend and to go to Olive Garden or whatever the

tanya: 10:13

Yeah, Olive Garden was big back then. Yeah,

erin: 10:15

it used to be really, it was considered fancy because it was like the first, like when it first started to become a chain in like the 80s or 90s. Hear

tanya: 10:22

that, youngins? That was our fancy, so.

erin: 10:24

Yeah, it is. So, so it was just very but yeah, I don't remember. I mean, I remember looking forward to The I was gonna say for like, I used to like the Snoopy's Valentine's episodes, like, you know, I don't know. Oh,

tanya: 10:41

Yeah, those were cute. Yeah I did like the themed Valentine's shows. I totally forgot about that. Yeah, like the episodes of like, you know, Full house or whatever it was that you're maybe not in high school, but you know, like whatever shows you're watching then, you know, like are kind of I can't even think of what I watched then, but I don't know. I

erin: 10:58

just was like, don't know what was wrong with me. I like watched my brother and I would always in the afternoon. We'd watch inspector gadget. Because I loved inspector gadget. Oh, my God. Yeah, I can't remember what else I watched. I know. I know I watched Pee Wee Herman. in high school. Something's wrong with me. I'm sorry people. I'm like I'm a child.

tanya: 11:17

I don't think you're alone in that. I think that was probably pretty, maybe people didn't admit it, but I think they kind of did.

erin: 11:23

Yeah, I really, I loved Phoebe Herman, Inspector Gadget. I can't remember like, show shows I watched. I guess 90210. You know, I don't remember.

tanya: 11:31

Because we didn't have as much selection people. Okay. So we had a very limited selection

erin: 11:37

and plus if you just have like 1 major TV, your parents take over it. So you're stuck watching cheers and all that crap,

tanya: 11:44

right? Cheers. Cheers and stuff. Yeah. All that like law and order. Like anything like. My sisters were watching. I was watching, like, we had one TV. We didn't have phones. We didn't have, like, multiple TVs. No cable, you know, three channels,

erin: 11:57

but we didn't have cable. We had it for a little bit. And then my dad's like, I'm not paying for TV. And then so we stopped

tanya: 12:03

Such a dad thing. It's like, that was like the eighties and nineties like decree of dads like, I'm not paying for cable. It's too expensive. Yeah. You know, like that really

erin: 12:12

should be, you got these rabbit ears and these

tanya: 12:15

or you can. Yeah, so I think I was stuck watching,

erin: 12:17

I think I thought Degrassi Jr. High was Cut In and Get Edge in the, because it was on PBS or something.

tanya: 12:24

I don't think I ever watched that, but I do remember that. Yeah. Yeah. I think, you know, I was into like the Law and Order in the, I did like Law and Order. This is so dorky, but when I think we first did get Cable when I was maybe in high school or something, I started watching Forensic Files and like Unsolved Mysteries and stuff like that. So like, this is where my true crime comes in. You know, I've kind of always liked it. Yeah, my mom was really

erin: 12:47

into that. And what was the show? I think it must have been Law and Order because my mom had the My mom had the biggest crush on Jimmy Smith.

tanya: 12:56

Really? Oh wow. I could kinda see that. Like he's kinda, yeah.

erin: 13:01

She was like, she was Him, and then when Rich Jimmy Smits and Richard Grieco, she thought were very handsome.

tanya: 13:08

I looooved Richard Grieco. And I was like so upset because I overlooked Johnny at that point in 21 Jump Street. I was like, that, oh my god, like he was like the dark prince, like Richard Grieco was like oh,

erin: 13:21

he's yummy. Well, that's funny, because we were talking earlier, like you either this or that, you know, like, Yeah, I was the Grieco. So for 21 Jump Street, it was either. Johnny Depp or Richard Grieco and it's funny because one of my best friends in middle school. I'm sorry I know this is supposed to be a Valentine's episode, but one of my best friends in middle school was She was all about Johnny Depp. So she had the posters in her room. She loved Johnny Depp and in excess so it's all Michael Hutchinson And Johnny Depp. You know who you are. That is lovely. That I'm talking about. But I,

tanya: 13:52

I loved her. You're fabulous, whoever you are. I think that's amazing. Yeah, no,

erin: 13:56

She's pretty great. But it was funny because she was in love with Johnny Depp. I had to pick Richard Grieco, too. Yep, Richard Grieco. And so it's like, oh, really? It's either Richard Grieco or The Don DeLuisa's son. I mean, there weren't really too many choice of guys on 90210.

tanya: 14:17

I don't, I think I thought Brandon. What was his name? Brandon was cute on 90210. What's

erin: 14:24

his name? I don't even remember his name. Yeah, I was thinking, I was going jump straight to 90210. Yeah, Brandon was cute. What was his name? Yeah, I thought he was a

tanya: 14:32

cutie. I really, I did not like, I was not, like, I remember so many people were into Lou Perry and I was like, I don't see it. And You know, well, he's just kind

erin: 14:40

of, you know, I think he was supposed to be scummy. He's supposed to be the bad. He was like, kind of

tanya: 14:43

that bad boy character. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know he passed and I was actually like, oh, he really was cute. Like, he was I can see it. I see it now. Oh, he was a cutie. Yeah. So, I mean, yeah, I think that kind of became, you know, your experience and I always felt like, oh, it's kind of sad. Like, you kind of miss the, like, everybody gets kind of candy and like, there's something kind of fun to look forward to instead. It's like. Yeah. All this pressure that it sounds like you and I just weren't, I wasn't into dating. I was very much just like focused on like, I wanted to get into a good college, get scholarships and like, was just focused. Like I didn't really talk to people. The people that I had as friends came and talked to me because I was shy and nerdy. So yeah.

erin: 15:24

I was more interested in just not,

tanya: 15:25

which is, you know, that makes sense to, you know, like we, we both have our histories and you go different ways, you know, depending just on what, you know, you go inward or you go outward. Yeah, I wish I was

erin: 15:36

more, yeah, and that's based on family dynamics, like how you're raised and what you're trying to

tanya: 15:41

escape from. Right, right. I, for the record, I wish I had gone more outward, like, for sure, because it messed me the hell up, you know, but I went through my twenties trying to figure life out. But anyways, on the topic of Valentine's Day, the day of love, as we talk about this it's always going to come back to trauma and different psychological aspects for us. That's just the way it is. We're the wicked psychotherapists.

erin: 16:06

Well, how you give and receive love. And it has to do with, I know people are probably like, well, why are you talking about elementary school, middle school and high school? Because our, who we are is based on that. It's also based on how our parents, how our family unit showed us. What these holidays represent any holiday

tanya: 16:24

such a good point such a good point. That's really so true I mean, I didn't even I kind of wasn't really thinking about that tie in, but that's so true that you know Because it is the day of love, you know do you look at it differently because of how you see love or you know? Is it just like another holiday to you because you just don't believe in it or do you feel like you know? Jaded from love or you avoid love like that. That's a really good point like depending on our patterns and everything

erin: 16:50

Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know. I love. I think it's great. I think I mean, I don't want to be the person sitting at a restaurant on Valentine's day because I think, well, I think probably all the people working in the restaurant are like, Oh gosh, this is the worst. But also, you know, there's fixed menus. It's just, you know, there's so many things that just don't seem appealing. Yeah, that's true. Plus there's so many people. You know, like, I, I don't want to have to people. I don't want that many people for any, for anything.

tanya: 17:24

That's so well put. I love that. I want a bumper sticker that says that. I don't want to have to people. No people. No.

erin: 17:31

Yeah. And I mean, I do like people because that's my job, but I don't want to have them all around

tanya: 17:36

me. Right. No, I totally get you. Like, I, you don't even, yeah. And I'm sure there's people out there that are like, yup, you know, get it too. This is why we are the Wicked Psychotherapist. We are, you know, very open about that. So, no, that, that is a great point. And that brings me to, you know, kind of transitioning to the next. Kind of question that I have for you, or just kind of discussion point in talking about other people and how this may impact them. If you know what their perception of Valentine's Day is, say, if they are single, or if they feel like, you know, everyone around them is celebrating this day and they have no one, have you had any experience with that with, you know, maybe clients or friends or people you just know personally? Yeah. What's your take on that? Yeah.

erin: 18:23

Yeah, I do. Because even though, like, it's a very, you know, like, we're, especially as women, it's like, you know, women empowerment, feminist movement, like, we shouldn't be affected, you know, like, that's what we're shown and taught oftentimes. And that's what I, you know, I always try to be like, okay, You know, things, material things or things shouldn't matter, but they do, especially when you go to, I think you're going to a drugstore to pick up your prescription or get toothpaste and you see all these Valentine's cards, all these teddy bears with hearts on them and everything. And then it's like, wait a minute, who do I have to share that with? Or should I be feeling a certain way because a date says it on the calendar that I should? And I have a lot of clients and I've seen it happen a lot where people feel really sad on, on Valentine's. And then, you know, of course, when there's, you know, now there's the movement with Galentine's Day and different things. So girls are like, yeah, like, you know what, I don't have to, you know, like, I don't need a man or I don't need a woman or I don't need a partner. I don't need, but I do see it a lot in different clients where there is this expectation that It's not that they should be coupled up and a lot of times of different reflection or existential thought of, well, because I'm not this way, what is going to happen to me the rest of the year or who, what is my definition, who is, what is my definition of self? And it's like, whoa, that, that shouldn't define you.

tanya: 19:48

Yeah. Almost like they're getting the New Year's kiss. You know, some people think that's bad luck. I, you know, really good. Points, I think, in terms of feeling the pressure all around going to the store, seeing the teddy bears and also with a big thing with social media, right? When you post on social media. And I have nothing against it. I actually like seeing these posts when people are just saying, like, oh, you know, look what I got from my. Partner or whatever, you know, and I like seeing those things. I think those, that's really cool. I like to see you know, different kinds of gifts or like how people can be creative about it, but it can, if you're not with somebody or if you're in, you're wanting to be with somebody, I'm not saying everybody wants to, but, you know, some people might be kind of lonely and they might see that and it may kind of skew their perspective of being, you know, the only person that's alone when there's actually probably a lot of people that are Yeah. Yeah. You know, maybe not haven't found the right person or aren't looking, you know, that kind of thing. And I think that's why Galentine's Day kind of evolved to say, Hey, there's different types of love that we can celebrate, you know, our friendships, you know, and things like that, which I think is amazing. I actually, I really love that. You know, I think that's really cool to be able to celebrate that. And yeah, it really is. There's a lot of emphasis placed on it. I, that may be generational. I feel like I haven't seen it as much, but I don't know if it's just because I'm not in that. Like. I'm not really like I'm married and I don't really, you know, kind of look for that too much. You know, maybe I looked for a little more when I was younger. So, I don't know what do you feel about, you know, kind of Valentine's Day. Now, for you, are you, do you have like, do you want to share that? You know, you don't have to, but yeah, sure.

erin: 21:28

As an adult. As a, well, now it's almost a full circle or whatever. So now I feel as though, you know, I You know from my mom, you know, I've learned okay so you do this and that in the morning or you know, like you leave the box of heart shaped chocolates on the table with like a teddy bear or something just or you know new pajamas or whatever it is and or just a little card or And so I do that for my kids and, you know, now helping the kids write their little valentine's things for, you know, elementary school or, you know, now my daughter's older. So she, you know, it's just, it's different. So it's so I am seeing the different generations and I'm having a different perspective. I guess I'm having existential thought of like, you know, what was and what is and what's going to be. Because it is, it's a different perspective and I feel less pressure to have things but and less pressure to be like, yeah, I don't need this or feel curmudgeon or feel that I need to have my stance because I have had times in my life where I was very vocal about like, ah, Valentine's Day, it's just this and that, or it's because of this or, but. And it might be, it might have been created by Hallmark, or it might not have been, or who knows, but it also is a really good opportunity to show the people in your life that you care about them, and that could be Your dog. That could be

tanya: 23:03

your You looked at me with that. I was looking down at

erin: 23:07

Paige! Paige is sleeping.

tanya: 23:09

Oh, you're looking at Paige. I thought you were like, your dog, like you might dress them up on a goofy outfit, even though she

erin: 23:15

hates it. But yeah, but it could be your dog. It could be your, you know, your mail person. It could be someone that you really, like, you really want to show love to. It could be, you know, I don't love my mailers. I do like them. But I

tanya: 23:30

love my Amazon people. They work hard, man. So maybe I should leave something for them.

erin: 23:34

Well, did you know, off topic for a second, I just found out, like, on the app and stuff, you could, like, there's something that you can give them 5, like, when you thank them. Really? Yeah, so. Oh, I didn't know that. I will totally do that. Yeah, so if you go to where you're like, did you receive your order or whatever, there's a little, well, it's super microscopic, but it says give five dollars to your mail person, and then it comes from Amazon, not you. So I've been trying to remember to do that, so that's kind of cool,

tanya: 24:01

and I'm so glad you mentioned that because I order a lot, and I saw a post saying like you should now leave something like outside your door, but I'm not comfortable doing that, like a snack or something for them, like it's now like etiquette, and I don't, because of like food allergies and animals and things I'm just not comfortable, I'd rather just give like a tip.

erin: 24:17

I have bears. And We have bears. We have bears, and we had a bear come the other day, and I ordered a new winter coat for my son online, and then some other stuff, and a bear ate it! What?! Yeah, it ate the box, and ate, there was no food in it, and it tore the jacket, and tore this, and I was like, oh my gosh, these bears. So yeah we What?! It's not Yeah, and then but thankfully like whenever I've gotten food stuff if I order Like, because I love Harry and David, so if I order stuff from Harry and David They o they deliver Harry they're good. They deliver it right to the door. Yeah. That bear must have gotten they must have delivered it like at a weird time, and the bear is like, I WANT THIS! And so he just like, really hungry. Wow. Yeah. So we had so vicious. Yeah. So, so that was, and it's funny because I was like, why did they do it? I'm like, they probably saw the bear. I was just like, I'm dumping this box here and, you know, like, just get out of here. But yeah but yeah, but you, but going back to that, like, but you can show love too. It doesn't have to just be, and it doesn't have to be on Valentine's Day too, but just like with Mother's Day and Father's Day, your birthday and stuff like that, it is, it's kind of nice to give and receive love. And yeah, for my husband, we don't do anything extravagant. We do cards and maybe our favorite, sorry, maybe our favorite chocolates or something like that. And, You know, we'll make a dinner. Maybe I'll do the dessert. He does dinner. And we do something sweet for the kids. The kids love it. They call it Love Day

tanya: 25:56

oh, that's cute. I like that. That's better than Valentine's Day. I mean, I know it came from St. Valentine's, so you can't really, you know, but Love Day is probably more accurate. Yeah. And

erin: 26:06

what about you? Do you, I know, you don't really, I don't want to say don't celebrate, but it's a little different

tanya: 26:12

in, for you as an adult. In our household, yeah. My, my husband's not a big he's kind of more of a person that's like, he likes to show things all throughout the year. He doesn't really like, like to have a particular day to do it. And he does, he is very thoughtful when it comes to like, just all throughout the year, but we have our, my birthday. Valentine's Day and our anniversary are like all kind of chunked in there, so we'll do something just kind of as a whole like, you know, go out to a nice restaurant you know, not on Valentine's Day, but like, you know, at some point and, you know, just kind of like maybe do some experience or something, you know, like with maybe a couple of friends or maybe by ourselves, you know, so like go to like a, I don't know, Concert or, you know, something to just kind of celebrate maybe sometimes we have like trips planned and things like that, but we don't really have a particular kind of, you know, and honestly, Valentine's Day to me is kind of just like, you know, whatever now. So, yeah, well, it's kind of a nice

erin: 27:10

break. It's kind of a nice break for you because of like, you're super cold winter. You're probably like, okay.

tanya: 27:16

Yeah, it is. It is, especially if we plan a trip to like, a sunny place, it's just, it's great. Because we actually, we're going to go to Jamaica in February. We decided not to for just some reasons kind of worked out, but we're going to. We're going to go to Quebec in January. That's on 4. Yeah, so, it's and it's going to be, we're going to like, an outdoor it's actually for, you know, a big birthday of my husband's and kind of mine too. It's like a concert we're going to go to and we're going to eat at some places and stuff like that. You know, I don't know if there's really any takeaways here, just saying that, you know, Valentine's Day may have changed in its meaning or what it is to you. Maybe you never even celebrated it. Maybe this is something that you're not interested in. I'm guessing it is if you tuned in today. Yeah. But to us, it's kind of definitely changed throughout. Kind of depending on what age we were, what phase we were in and what it means to us. And like Erin was pointing out so nicely the way that you're shown love and what your relationship is with that. And if you how you like to express it.

erin: 28:18

I was actually just thinking about something too, Tanya. Something I always tell my clients like when they're trying to think of a new hobby or think of things that they like or that they used to like or they're like, I don't like anything. Or so I'm like, well, what did you like when you were in high school? I don't like it. What'd you like? I don't know. What about elementary? I don't know. So then it's like, well, really think there was probably something you're really good at. You really liked or you really enjoyed. I wonder if people could do this too with Valentine's or some holidays like this that they're like, ah, I'm so jaded. What is stopping you as an adult to go and buy that box of I was going to say Werther's Originals, but like the

tanya: 28:58

box of

erin: 29:01

chocolates, like with the Whitman's chocolates, or what's stopping you from getting a teddy bear, going to get those cookies with the red sprinkles at the bakery, or, you know, you're allowed to do stuff for yourself, or just binge. Yeah. Every Valentine's special or, you know, whatever you're allowed to show yourself love or you're allowed to give love to others or you're allowed to accept to receive it too

tanya: 29:26

right. I love that viewpoint. I think that's a good takeaway. You know, that you can show it, you can express it in any way. And of course you could do this all throughout the year. This just may be a reminder to it. Right. And I, I like to put, like, I, I realized I actually do that with some of my backgrounds and like the things that I kind of decorate, like I'll put not too much, just a little bit. And like, maybe I'll wear like a Pink or red shirt or something, you know, and some, sometimes if I just feel like it, so, yeah, it's,

erin: 29:52

it's a good way to. Tanya looks very, Tanya is very valentine y today.

tanya: 29:57

Wearing my pink shirt and you are wearing your, pro. Your crow with the heart on it, which I love. Those

erin: 30:03

who know me know that I have a crow obsession. I I may talk to them and feed them every day.

tanya: 30:09

She totally does. And that's awesome. I'm

erin: 30:11

a little crazy, a little bit crazy, right? That's okay.

tanya: 30:15

You're a wicked psychotherapist. So, yeah. So, I mean, I think this was a good talk. Let us know if there's anything that you want to add to this. Anything that you want to Talk about further, any suggestions. We are always open to that. We really appreciate you tuning in for our Valentine's day or love day. I like that better love day talk and we hope you enjoyed it. Yeah. So

erin: 30:42

by the time this episode is going to be released, Tanya's birthday would have passed. So be sure to say happy birthday in the comments.

tanya: 30:51

Thank you. Yes. Yeah. Thank you. I feel old, but no, thank you. But yeah. So, so don't forget follow us on Instagram at wicked psychotherapists. On Facebook, we are The Wicked Psychotherapist. Subscribe and follow wherever you listen to podcasts. Yeah, I think

erin: 31:12

we're just about everywhere. I always try to think of where, but we'll just say just about everywhere. If you have a phone or a computer and you get podcasts, look it up.

tanya: 31:21

Yep, we're there. It helps. And don't forget, write us a review. That helps us out a lot,

erin: 31:26

too. Yes, please. It does help, because I think more people, I think it shows up,

tanya: 31:30

Absolutely. And don't forget, stay wicked. And keep your mind well. Alright guys, we'll see you next time.

erin: 31:38

Okay, bye bye.

31:46

Thanks so much for listening today to the Wicked Psychotherapist podcast. Be sure to like and follow us on Apple, Spotify, and Amazon, or wherever else you listen to your podcasts.