Exploring Heroism and Family Dynamics 'Damsel' on Netflix

In this episode of Wicked Psychotherapists, Tanya and Erin discuss the Netflix movie 'Damsel'.

 They explore how the film subverts traditional fairy tale tropes with a strong female lead who takes charge of her fate. Key themes include the psychological aspects of family dynamics, generational trauma, and empowerment. 

 The hosts also highlight the unique storytelling, unexpected twists, and well-crafted characters in the movie. 

 Listeners are warned about spoilers and are encouraged to reflect on how the film portrays personal and familial struggles.

*This show has spoilers*

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Transcript

0:08

You are listening to Wicked Psychotherapists, a podcast where two psychotherapists show you that taking care of and learning about mental health doesn't have to be wicked hard.

Tanya: 0:31

Hey guys, this is Tanya. Hi, this is Erin and welcome to Wicked

erin: 0:35

Psychotherapist.

Tanya: 0:36

today we are talking about A movie on Netflix right now called Damsel, which is really we both liked it. We thought this was a different take on maybe a traditional fairytale. But yeah, it was really good. I thought it was a good family movie and a good just, adult movie too. I think it was pretty good for all ages.

erin: 0:58

Yeah. It was

Tanya: 0:58

unexpected too. Yeah. Yeah it wasn't really a traditional, like damsel in distress instead it was just a damsel who, took care of business herself. But we thought that this would be interesting and, we'd want to talk about some of the themes because she definitely is a very strong female. She has different interactions with her family. There's different family dynamics going on, different dynamics within the city. There's dragons, there's cool stuff like that. Castles, prince, princess, prince, whatever. All these different characters that are traditional to fairytale, but it's very different. So there will be spoiler alerts. So if you. Are if you have not seen it or you don't know or you don't remember and you don't want to remember. This is going to spoil everything. Yeah. So overall, what did you think of the movie in general?

erin: 1:52

It's a very open question. So overall, I was very, I guess it was unexpected. Like I mentioned that earlier, it wasn't really something that I had bought. It would be about or. Even the description, I was not really sure what I was going to be watching, but I was happy that, as you mentioned, like it wasn't the typical damsel in distress. It was the princess was the one who ended up having to do the rescue. And I thought it was very well done. it seemed like there was a lot of things that we could talk about as far as like psychological components in the movie with the family. With her relationship with herself and just her relationship with her family and just everything. I just really thought it would, was a couple really good layers within the movie.

Tanya: 2:40

Yeah, it definitely was. I think I just watched it because it had Millie Bobby Brown in it, and I liked her from Enola and Stranger Things, so I was like, why not? I'll just give it a shot. I really liked it. I thought I would not, I wouldn't be into it or be too young, but it was actually really, It was, it kept me interested and I thought, Oh, this is definitely interesting. It wasn't like cheesy or, overstating, I think, some themes that maybe it could have instead it just, it was just well done.

erin: 3:08

What did you think would be young about it? Because it was a princess and prince theme. Did you think it would be mythic, more young ah, they fall off happily after, blah, blah, blah.

Tanya: 3:19

I just thought it would be like a fairy tale type thing and I thought maybe it's, one of those family movies that You know, it's kids and adults may watch together, but the adults may not be super entertained by but it, I think it was pretty entertaining. Yeah, I think so too. It was had a lot of things.

erin: 3:36

Yeah, and I think it was gory too.

Tanya: 3:39

Yeah, definitely had some gory parts. Yeah and it had, I think, adult themes as well too, were you surprised when the prince was carrying her and he just lopped her off over the edge? Yeah,

erin: 3:51

that, again, spoilers, but, sorry, but yes, I. Was completely shocked because well, it seemed a little creepy with everybody wearing their mask I was like what the heck is happening? You see everyone looking very Creepy ominous and it's almost like they don't want to be seen or be part of this That's what I was thinking when I saw that of why are they hiding their faces? Then it's oh, don't worry. You have nothing to fear or whatever. He said just close your eyes And then it's he just throws her basically to her death, and it's just really, that it then the movie pretty much begins from there, but I was shocked, because it did seem oh, they got to know each other, they went horseback riding, they were talking, they seemed like they liked each other, you would have thought that he almost would have not done it, or would have been. Let me not throw her over because I felt this relationship, but we find out that is not the case at all. And. He continues to do that, or did it even before her, as well.

Tanya: 4:52

Yeah, it seems like there's a whole line from all the, I don't know, apparitions, ghosts that the princess interacts with down there, that didn't make it out. I think he, probably, I think he did like her. He just was so used to the pattern of it and his mom was really controlling. So he just was like, this is what we have to do. This is the sacrifice to the dragon. But yeah, I was really shocked when she got through all that. I don't know the vines or the forestry or whatever the heck it was, like the trees and stuff that kind of slowed her down. And I was like, how the hell did everybody survive that fall, and not die right there. Instead they died after not being able to escape. But, it's really strange though because there, there is like that first dynamic where, you know, the father betrays her because he knows that this is, she's going to be a sacrifice and he For lack of a better word, sells her, to marry and know that she's going to be a sacrifice, but it provides for, his family, the rest of the family. And obviously he probably doesn't feel good about it, but he agreed to it. Yeah. And

erin: 5:56

it sounds

Tanya: 5:56

like

erin: 5:56

he had no communication with his wife because the stepmother was the one who I think at the dinner or something was like, something's off with these people. They don't seem like they're real, or I don't trust them, or It doesn't seem like they're having the correct reactions so she knew something was off. She didn't know what was happening, but she didn't feel safe leaving her there. But the dad's oh no, we're fine. Let's just go. But something must have, either the wife had talked to him after or he had a change of heart to go back and get her at the end or try to rescue his daughter at the end.

Tanya: 6:33

Yeah, I think he eventually, the father eventually confessed to her or something and she was like, why, let's go back, which is so the opposite of the wicked stepmother theme and fairy tales where it's actually like the stepmother who was very, who was like insisting on going back and was helpful. Yeah, and then the, the father ends up getting hurt and she. Has to, she tries to go back and save him, but he's too hurt, and he ends up dying there and that's when the girl dies. What's her name? The princess Elodie. She, they end up throwing her sister in because they realize she's escaped and they need to make the sacrifice, so they sacrifice her sister. And then she goes back down, jumps back down into the world of all that's in there to try and save her sister. So she's only heroic for herself, but also for her family and does the thing that her father. Was trying to correct, but ultimately caused,

erin: 7:27

And that also shows the strong bond that the two sisters had. And she's willing to sacrifice herself in order to save her sister, and. A lot of times we talk about like different family dynamics and we're like, the Dysfunction and there is dysfunction as family obviously because the father Sacrificed her or was trying to sacrifice her to have food and whatever for the family but then she's willing to sacrifice herself because of her love for her sister and that's a different type of relationship or family dynamics that oftentimes we talk about in different shows that we

Tanya: 8:00

Yeah, for sure. It's definitely, I think something that you're not really expecting. Like you see her get out and then you're just like, oh my God, she's going back in. Yeah, and it definitely shows her commitment to her family that she is very much maybe breaking that, I don't know, generational trauma or curse and, the way her father did things and saying, no, I actually, this is the way I am. There's a lot of family symbolic. Trauma in there. Maybe if you really want to delve into it and really take a look at it from that angle But yeah, what did you think of the dragon that had? as we find out Actually had all of its eggs stolen or killed and had been, had made a deal with what was it? The king?

erin: 8:46

Yeah, I guess it was the current king. It was probably like generations and generations of kings, right? But yeah, it's like you see the cruelty of the humans who went into the Cave or nest or whatever you call it and with the purpose just to Kill, most to oh, we gotta slay the dragon, but we can't slay the dragon. Let's just kill her eggs and then She instantly kills everybody else and he's wait, let's make a deal. I'll sacrifice my people for you, or my children for you, he must have known there's a loophole. Let me just not sacrifice any of my family and just sacrifice strangers that I say are my family so that it'll appease the dragon.

Tanya: 9:26

Yeah, which is so slimy. To just put that on generations of your family and, to say okay, I either somehow either he thought of it or I don't know if it was the generations after said the people that Mary and our family, they did the whole like blood ceremony. So they're like, Oh, they've got blood. That's how the dragon sniffed it out. Saying that they are a family member I believe that the princess tells the dragon and says, no, they've been tricking you. And then the dragon's mad and it goes after the family, I just think that was gone along for so long, for so many generations. And it's really strange how that story got, Distorted and twisted and that the dragon was just some evil creature that needed a sacrifice and that, that part of the story was left out just reminds me so much of how things get twisted over the years, like history gets twisted and settles in our culture, like kind of the, whitewashing of history and family history too, and we're

erin: 10:20

not even thinking too like the dragon, yeah, she was mad and, You know killed all these people, but she also was grieving. She also lost her whole family and They really didn't take into account that when they're retelling the history but of course they want to make themselves look as though they're all the victims and We have to do this you wonder too what kind of story the Royal family was telling everybody that would watch the sacrifice while they're wearing their masks, what did they gain? I guess they gained that their palace wouldn't be destroyed by a dragon. I don't know.

Tanya: 10:53

Yeah, it was like preservation, Oh, if somebody else has to pay for it, then, I don't have to, I don't have to, and my line doesn't have to pay for it. But knowing that this kind of had to be dealt with. So I think they, they found that somewhere along the line that loophole was found and they were like, okay, this is how we're going to. We're going to right the wrong of our ancestor by making other people pay for it. I think that it really is interesting how generational trauma, how family dynamics and how the, hero in the story, or the har hero, I don't want to say hero. Heroin. Heroin, yeah. Heroine. Just how she how she really she steps up and she she, she straightens out the truth of, all this historical inaccuracies and is able to break her own family trauma, but also this trauma of the city and of the royalty and with the dragon and everything. So it's like in so many different ways. She's been able to write all these wrongs and see, the the truth of it all. And I think that's what really makes her kind of the hero, she is able to do that and do that all on her own. And that the prince does not come. In fact, the prince puts her in danger. He throws her down a cliff and he's not at all trying to help her. Yeah. Yeah it's all her. Yeah. I thought it was

erin: 12:12

interesting too when she. Saw that he was marrying again like her reaction to it. And I don't know if that was going to be another sacrifice or if that was somebody who was actually marrying because he wanted to marry her, but it was just wait a minute, he's doing it again, it's.

Tanya: 12:26

I'm sure it was probably another sacrifice. I think he only married for sacrifices. That's what, that's what it seemed like. I don't know. But yeah, another interesting theme though, was the, how the apparitions or the, whatever, the ghosts of the spirits of the people, the women that had didn't make it out. Of the cave of the dragon, how they were all helping the princess and they really helped her to get out. So it's standing on the shoulders of other people to help you out

erin: 12:54

and have and it's almost like they, yeah they weren't trying to trick her or we didn't make it out, so we don't want you to make it out. they were trying to help her and it was almost, women empowerment in a sense.

Tanya: 13:06

Yeah they definitely were like, trying to lead her toward the way. And yeah, I think that was really good. The way that they did the movie the shots of everything. I actually think some of that was, I meant to tell my husband this. I think some of that was shot in Portugal, actually, the castle scenes. But I could be making that up. I think I read that somewhere. Yeah. Some of the castles, the exterior were Portugal. Yeah. So maybe you've seen them. Yeah, we definitely seen a lot of castles there, so I don't know, it's definitely a possibility, but yeah. No, it was, I just thought it was a really good movie with some good points and, the fact that somebody would, a young person would see that might see something. And absorb something different as opposed to like feeling like, okay, this person doesn't know how to save themselves. They are, they're in distress and they're very much waiting for someone to save them. And that happens

erin: 13:57

a lot in with our, with ourselves, in a lot of different realms. So it's really. It's hard to be the one to save yourself and it's hard to see what's needed. I know this movie was like, you could definitely see it's external and she had to save herself it is very difficult I think that's why a lot of movies have somebody else saving the person because it is sometimes easier to say let's have this

Tanya: 14:19

external factor, this person rescue me. Yeah, it's almost, it reminds me of that meme that you see on, I don't know, Facebook or Instagram that's if you're waiting for someone to save you it's yourself kind of thing. Like you, don't have to sit there and wait for something to happen. You can actually do these things and it's, I guess that kind of speaks to that, like feeling like a victim at times and saying I just need to. Kind of be in it as opposed to working through it. And I not to say that, it, it doesn't have its effects and it isn't very hard, but to say that's, that doesn't have to be the only option, that you can, try to work through these things so that you can. Feel like you can move on to the next stage in your life. But yeah I just thought that was a really empowering movie. Good acting too. I think Millie Bobby Brown is a really good actor. She's only like 20. And yeah, she's really great. So the costumes,

erin: 15:07

the costumes are great. And yeah, the scene, yeah, the whole thing, it was done very well. I thought, especially since it was like a Netflix movie. it was good.

Tanya: 15:15

Yeah, I thought so. I thought that was and again, I didn't I guess sometimes I feel like those themes when they're done in the, like feminist perspective, I think they can sometimes be overdrawn and come out a little bit cheesy, but I don't think it was in this way. So I think it was very nice. No, cause it wasn't

erin: 15:33

really anti man. It was more women, like how, she was just trying to. Like we said before, she was trying to save herself. She was empowering herself, and she was trying to also save her sister and the dragon. She ended up rescuing the dragon, too, in a sense, because the dragon realized she, she had power, and when she realized that she was being lied to, she's forget this. I'm gonna just destroy this whole palace. They have been lying to me this entire time, and Let me go on and live with somebody who actually respects me and, will treat me well. So they show the dragon following them on the way home, the princess and her stepmother and sister.

Tanya: 16:14

Yeah, for sure. And I think there's, more of a feeling of the dragon would be someone who is more of a protector in their city now at this point. And that they protected the dragon, And I just thought it was such a unique way to, to show it. Yeah. Yeah. It was really good. So is there kind of anything else that, that stuck out to you or anything else that you want to discuss?

erin: 16:33

I don't know. I just, I thought it was good though that the father, I was very happy to see that the father came back and explained everything to her and did apologize because she did have him on this pedestal. But then it was. You know The I think while she was there she started to have the reality of he did this to me But then he did come back and a lot of times movies would make him the hero, but he's wait a minute I'm, I messed up and he did end up dying in the end, but she did they did get to Talk about it and He's sincere. It sounded like he was sincere in his apology And so I thought that was good too because a lot of times people don't Get to talk to the person that wronged them that way, the way that he did.

Tanya: 17:16

Yeah, for sure. To have that closure and that understanding that there was a mistake made, but we, here I am taking accountability for it. And saying, recognizing how this affected you. It's almost like he sacrificed his life. He didn't technically, but I think in the movie realm, he symbolically was sacrificed because made that mistake But yeah I think there was a lot of hidden gems and Yeah. Good things in there that were not necessarily on the surface Yeah.

erin: 17:44

I thought it was interesting too with the stepmother. There was a point,'cause they always called her stepmother and I think it was on the boat home, or there's some time that, that, that. The princess and her sister called her mom or mother and in different times instead of stepmother So I thought that was interesting too that maybe All that they all that the three went through too They realized that there was this bigger bond and that she definitely Was a mother to them.

Tanya: 18:13

Yeah, I think that trust had been established and safety of that relationship So they probably felt this is someone who is a mother figure to me Or as I guess it had it been that apparent before I don't know if that was

erin: 18:27

yeah

Tanya: 18:27

Maybe the father keeping them apart. Yeah, she just hadn't had the chance to yeah And I

erin: 18:32

think the father had a bigger personality And I think he probably took more of the room and maybe the stepmother wasn't able to fully show her love in that way when he was around.

Tanya: 18:44

There's so many different, ways to look at this and to see it, but overall check it out if you are, wanting to see a fairy tale kind of with some different themes and some different things mixed in there. Yeah. If you like dragons, if you like princesses. Yeah, some castles and Portugal. And I'm guessing there's probably other locations they shot it at too, but I think that was just the castle exterior, but it was really nice no matter what it was, where it was. But yeah, so this was a, a quick one. We just wanted to give little shout out to damsel because it was really good. And yeah, but. Hope you enjoyed this exploring some of the themes. If you can, leave us some comments, some reviews, anything about future episodes. We always love suggestions.

erin: 19:31

Yeah, just keep listening I think the episode after this is something in the Gone Girl realm.

Tanya: 19:37

Yeah. We're going to be, yeah, the Gone Girl phenomenon and talking about some real life cases and why some things turned out the way that they did. But yeah, and don't forget to follow us on Instagram at Wicked Psychotherapists. And on Facebook, we are the Wicked Psychotherapists. Subscribe and follow us wherever you listen to podcasts. We're everywhere. Write us a review. That helps us a lot, too. It does. And don't forget,

erin: 20:05

stay wicked. And keep your mind well.

Tanya: 20:08

See you guys. See you. Bye bye. Take care. Bye.

20:12

We Wish You a Merry Christmas No no no! You, you, you're not supposed to! Come back! UUUIIIIIII! Ohhh sorry! Okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm sorry! I'm sorry. I'm sorry! You