Wicked Psychotherapists

The Psychology Behind The Feel-Good Formula of Hallmark Christmas Movies

Erin Gray, and Tanya Dos Santos Season 1 Episode 16

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 In this episode, we unravel the irresistible feel-good formula  of Hallmark Movies, exploring the psychology that makes these festive films a cherished part of our holiday traditions.

Join us as we dissect the heartwarming narratives, the comforting predictability, and the captivating characters that weave together the tapestry of Hallmark's cinematic winter wonderland. 

But there's more beneath the surface! Delve into the psychology of why we are drawn to these festive tales year after year. 

Whether you're a devoted Hallmark movie fan or a casual viewer, this episode promises insights, laughs, and a dash of holiday spirit. 


Get ready to unwrap the psychological magic behind the hallmark of Christmas movies!

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tanya:

Hi everyone, this is Tanya. Hi, this is Erin. And welcome to Wicked Psychotherapists. So welcome, welcome. Today we have an appropriately themed, talk session. Regarding some Hallmark movies or as you gave the term made for TV, romantic comedies, rom coms, which I thought was pretty, pretty interesting. We thought because, you know, by the time this goes out, it'll be around the Christmas holidays and a lot of people are drawn to Hallmark movies. And we wanted to dive into why. Why do people like these movies so much? Even though we know they can be cheesy. We know the way they're going to end. But what is it that draws us to these movies? So, so should we, dive into it and just kind of jump in and see, take a look at it? Yes,

Erin:

I think it'll be

tanya:

fun. All right. Well, let's start by taking a look at what we like so people can just kind of get a sense of, what we're talking about. Do we like Hallmark movies? You know, do we, what do we feel like we're drawn to with, some of these movies? And any favorite themes or actual movies that you can remember? I know they're hard to distinguish sometimes. But I did want to. Let's start out with, just asking you, you know, do you, Erin do watch Hallmark movies?

Erin:

I do. I actually, I don't know if I should admit this, but I actually even DVR them, it, just in case I've missed them so I can watch them. But it's not like I have a particular Favorite or because I will watch the Hallmark Channel and Lifetime and, you know, just but it's just during that time of year. So yes, what

tanya:

about those types of movies? Yeah, I'm not

Erin:

watching soap operas during the week or I'm not watching that type of made for TV movie. Not when it's not Christmas time. But what about you? Do you? Do you get drawn to it? Do you follow the, hype or

tanya:

the I don't actually. At this point in my life, I don't. But I used to. I definitely and I can see the, draw to it. And I think that's what we're going to talk about today and why, you know, some people I think maybe have a little bit of kind of, like you were just saying, like, you know, but I don't do this kind of thing. There's a Of, you know Ooh, I kind of want to hide that I watch them. I don't, see any shame in it. And we're going to kind of talk about, you know, the reasons why people are drawn to it. I just, kind of, I think maybe, got, away from it. I'll still put one on, you know, kind of here and there in the background, you know, around the holidays or so just to kind of have that, comfort and coziness and, you know, some of the themes that we connect with and we want to see during the holidays. Do you, in particular, have any kind of themes that you see yourself being drawn to, or any, you know, particular movies that maybe you can remember? Yeah, I

Erin:

know the ones I don't really like, because we were talking, because there's some that are just so out there, if I see some descriptions, I'm like, nope, not gonna watch this one, or this one's not gonna end up on my DVR. But it's usually This, you know, like, okay, are they, what is making her, because it's usually a woman that's going back to her small town, what is the premise? Did she just lose her job? Is her parents sick? Is she going to have to, you know, those ones usually draw me more than if Her and her and the boyfriend are fighting or the fiance and she's trying to, I don't usually like it when she's breaking up with, the boyfriend. I don't like those

tanya:

ones or the husband. Yeah you don't like the, theme of where there's like, it kind of has to be dramatic in that way. You kind of like it if it's more like, okay, this person's finding something again, discovering something. Yeah I could, definitely see that. And again, I think that very much relates to some of the. The elements that we're going to talk about some of the themes as to why we're drawn to that. And the. You know, kind of, I think, connection to that, especially around the holidays with everything that's going on. So we'll, get into that in a little bit. We're going to talk about some of those themes and some of the little bit of the psychology behind it, you know, because that's what we do. So, you know, but I, do, you know, even though I don't really watch them as much anymore, I certainly remember really liking the kind of, you know, usually it's a, You know, female character returning to her hometown. It's like a small town and she's often like some big, high stress, high powered corporate job and then she's like, Oh, this is more me. This feels more like home. And she reconnects with like, you know, someone that has also grown into who they are kind of thing. And so I think I similarly you know, you know, finding yourself. Again, but being able to, like, come back home kind of thing, it just kind of feels comforting, probably because of my own, you know, as a lot of us do, we probably, you know, have that kind of journey. I mean, of course, mine is nowhere near as simplistic, and, it's not like I had some high powered job coming back home, that I came back home to, but, you know, just the premise

Erin:

of it. Live the Hallmark movie, then.

tanya:

In my mind, yeah, in my mind in the fantastical world. Yeah, sure. But yeah there's a comfort to it, right? Like recognizing our own themes, our own kind of journey in that and seeing that there's. You know, that human connection there and in the different phases of our life, usually it is kind of a woman or, you know, yeah, I mean, the ones that I'm thinking of are like, you know, female characters are the main characters and they're like in their late 20s or early 30s kind of thing and they're, you know, something about discovering themselves and You know, so it's, not like we're so far away from those ages that we don't remember that. So, yeah, I'm just going to leave it at that.

Erin:

Yeah, back in my day. Yeah, no, but it's funny too, because we were talking, a lot of the actors and actresses are probably not in their 20s or

tanya:

characters. That's true. That's true. And you, know, as you had pointed out, there's a lot of the same actors in these types of movies. Like I say Hallmark, but I really just mean like the, whole genre of kind of this, you know, made for TV kind of holidayish, you know, small town kind of resolves itself. With a nice neatly little rat Bow. Yeah. Show, or movie. But yeah, and some, like, you had pointed out, like, you know, there's Danica McKellar and Candace Cameron Burr, you know, like, those are kind of recurring Hallmark Lifetime people that basically they, they play the same character in very different, very Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not very different, but slightly different variations and environments and, which leads us to our next point, I think, in talking about, you know, there is a draw to these, Hallmark movies. I'm just going to kind of encapsulate it by saying Hallmark movies. I think

Erin:

most people probably associate those type of movies as Hallmark esque movies or Hallmark movies. Yeah.

tanya:

It's hard to think of anything. But for sure there's, other channels like Lifetime and I don't know, I don't even know if there's, probably a whole like, I don't know, Netflix section of, I don't know, these types of movies. I think

Erin:

there is. I think I found that last year.

tanya:

Yeah. I kind of want to check it out now. I'm actually kind of thinking, I'm like, maybe I should get back to this. I don't know. It might be nice for this upcoming season.

Erin:

It's nice when, especially if you want to think of something that you don't normally think of and It's just really kind of, I don't want to offend everyone, but it's very brainless. You're just just watching, and it's, I don't know, I just really like it because it's very comforting, and I know. I pretty much know how it's going to end.

tanya:

Well, no, actually, that's a great point, Erin, because, you know, I think that's part of the formula. That's part of the draw, is that you don't have to think about, you don't have to worry about there being some strange twist that's going to throw you off. You know that at the end, things are going to resolve themselves. It's going to work out. How that works out, maybe a little bit of a journey, you know, maybe a little bit of Like, you know, up, up the hill to get down to the other side on the, you know, on a roller coaster kind of thing, but it's not going to go upside down or do anything crazy but you're, going to, you know, get kind of a similar formula in terms of, you know, there's some sort of issue. There's some sort of conflict, which is. You know, made out to be so complex when it's, pretty, it's usually kind of simplistic, you know, maybe not too much, usually something most people experience and usually not in this like, you know, all or nothing kind of black and white. Kind of scenario and you're like sitting there like okay, this seems like lady. You're probably you tried to you know, I don't know You know, you tried to like kick a co worker or something and you know, you're needing time away from this job It's probably best to move back home and find a less stressful job Not that's ever happened on one of these movies, but you know kind of very obvious things that are pointing towards Yeah. Burnout

Erin:

or something. Yeah. It usually is. The, they have a city, job, the high stress job

tanya:

Of, something. Corporate job. Something

Erin:

corporate y where they have to wear really high heels and they get stressed.

tanya:

It's. Or blazers. You know.

Erin:

Yeah. There's a lot of blazers and very high heels in these movies. But I think, that's what it is. It's like, Oh, I'm going to just go back home to whatever that looks like. Yeah. And it's usually some pivotal point

tanya:

Yeah and, you know, the point that used to really, that I started to get bothered about these movies, and this is my own crap coming in here, like, it's just my own junk, you know, is that I used to think, wow, like, when I, if I had issues or stressors, if I had this nice home to come home to, and, you know, this ability to be able to, have, you know, a place to stay, you know, somewhere to have, Support and to have a different option. I mean that sounds pretty great to me, but that's not necessarily the case for a lot of people. At really any age, you know, and I think I used to get really frustrated with that, feeling like that's not something, that's not a safety net I ever really had, and it would start to anger me, honestly, I was just like, this is so unrealistic, and so, you know, there's all these like safety nets in place for these people, and, you probably, you understand this too, right? You know, like, there's kind of, some people have to stay in, in these high stress jobs or in this scenario that's very less than ideal. And, you know, day after day, because you don't have supports outside of that. And I can't just come home to mom's, you know, country house, which is worth 1. 3 million, but it's like, Oh, it's country. So it's, very, you know. It's very it's poor and it's, less quality, which is complete junk to me. I'll take that any day, but. And your mom most likely is wearing an apron because I can't even picture that, yeah. And she's just ready to help you solve your problems and she's, you know, just there. I don't know, maybe people have families like this. I don't. This is like insane to me. There's

Erin:

no cigarette. Or

tanya:

and there's like actual like concern and energy being directed at you and like, you know, it's they have time for that. They're not like constantly stressed and in their own chaos. And yeah, no it's, you know, so I, my own bitterness kind of really piled into that. And I was like, I hate this. I was, I'm against you now, you know, and I, didn't watch them for years and years. And then I just kind of, I was like, You know, after resolving that, I was just like, okay, I'm just not really super into it. Sorry, that was a total rant.

Erin:

No it's really funny that you say that because I think they used to really aggravate me at that point. And I think just within the past Five or six years. I've really Liked him and almost look forward to them but it is funny because if I would have watched him when I was younger like the age that the Actors are supposed to be portraying in their 20s and 30s I would have been super annoyed because there's I would have felt similar, which I mean, still now, when I'm thinking, I'm like, huh, yeah, that's, would never happen, but have, a safety net, or have something like that, or have to know, oh yeah, I could just go home to my parents Huge bed and breakfast that now I have to.

tanya:

That's on 50 acres. I just have to swallow my pride for my parents to, to offer me this million dollar loan. I'm just, I'm so sad. Yeah.

Erin:

I'm sorry they just bought me six cars. Yeah.

tanya:

They let me stay at their place like rent free. Yeah, no, I am so sad.

Erin:

Yeah, it's just, yeah, it is kind of like that part. I mean, I think that might also be the draw too, that it is so unrealistic for a lot

tanya:

of people. Right, right. Yeah, and I think it is kind of, there's like a fantastical fairytale element to it where it's there's comfort there because I think that's what I figured out was I was like, oh wait nobody, really has this. I mean maybe there's some privileged few people that do and like, that's cool, whatever, you know, like you have that. But I think for the majority of us, That if we are drawn to, to it, it is a nice kind of escape to towards, you know, saying, okay, there's, you know, stress around the holidays, a lot of things kicking up with family and just events that you have to go to the weather is not good. If you're, you know, in a. Part, I mean, for probably a lot of parts of the U. S. now, actually, you know, and it just, you know, low light and everything and, you know, things just don't feel great. And so you want that pick me up, you want that feel good. element, even if you're like, this is cheesy and unrealistic, it's, it really is you know, suspending reality for an hour and a half or however long they are, you know, You know, characters that seemingly have these issues, but really, honestly, we know that they are encapsulated with all these buffers and they're going to make it through this little, you know, kind of, what's that called? Like, gauntlet of difficulties that are presented in this hour and a half movie, and it's going to come out 10 times better than was ever imagined. And kind of gives us a little bit of hope, like, oh, maybe it'll. Turn out for me, or maybe I can just kind of watch that and just escape with that for a little bit, even if I'm in a situation where it doesn't go towards that. And

Erin:

some of the things, like, even though it is very unrealistic, a lot of the self discovery is a little more, I don't want to say realistic, but Something that you can, that people can relate to because we all

tanya:

want to discover

Erin:

who we are and what we want and I think that also is part of what draws me to it, not only like the romance but the finding yourself, finding your interest, finding who you are and a lot of the components, a lot of the layers are really unrealistic for me and sure for you, for a lot of people too but it's very I think that component of, oh, isn't that nice that she or he was able to figure out who they are, or what they want, or, oh, so they don't really want to live in That's Manhattan, but they want to, you know, move to Vermont, or New Hampshire, or Colorado, wherever the movie

tanya:

is. Yeah, and they'll have to deal with the fact that everything closes down at, you know, nine o'clock at night, but yeah, I guess they're moving on to that next phase in their life, you know, kind of thing which, you know, you're right, though, it's there's, that phase of life, you know, kind of like where you're You know, maybe settling down or going back to a, you know, the place where you grew up and you decide where you want to kind of, you know, stay, or do you want to, you know, go and travel? Do you want to, you know, kind of pick up and do a few more things before you kind of settle down you know, or are you not that type of person? Or, you know, is it okay to be that type of person? It does explore these definite real themes, and I think we can on a, like you said, deeper level you. Relate to, it's just the circumstances all around it that make it a little ridiculous and cheesy. Yeah, fair enough, right? I, think that's the draw in the, formula for it. You know, and kind of saying, okay, this will work out. That's the connection, and then that's the kind of like, the clincher, right? You know, it's okay that's what draws us to it. You know, and it, can kind of end up feeling like a little bit of a fairy tale, but with some realistic Elements that could possibly be there. And I think a lot of people, I know we were talking, you know, beforehand about, you know, some people might feel a little bit. I know when I was younger, I used to really like, I used to like these movies, and I did, like, I would never admit it, ever, you know, and like, now it's I think people are realizing it's okay to, like these things, because there is some sort of connection to this, there is something there that maybe we, can see, and there, there are, these, like, universal elements that we can relate to, even if it is cheesy and quite frankly not maybe, you know, top notch acting all the time. Yeah, but

Erin:

like the D or C list actors

tanya:

sometimes. Yeah, which I don't know. It's kind of, it's kind of nice. It's kind of funny. Less ego.

Erin:

Yeah,

tanya:

exactly. Yeah. So, you know, I think that, you know with, this, I think there's probably a lot of people that do like these movies, maybe year round. But we're, kind of focusing on the, holiday, connection to it and what. What brings us, to different psychological theories, you know, like what, what would, what do we think would be some of the connections that we do have? Some of the theories behind the psychology of why these, movies are seemingly so bad, yet we still like them. Well, I think,

Erin:

I think some of it might be. The not only the romantic part, but because most of them had the family connection. So probably finding who they are in their family unit, what their role is too. Maybe that's redefined now. Because sometimes they come back home and they have to help, with the inn or they're now helping their parents, whereas before they're, they were the child when they left or the teenager or whatever they were. And now they're. In a different a

tanya:

different role in the family unit. Yeah, for sure. I mean, that definitely I think is one of the different things somebody might identify with it might help them kind of resolve and work through the viewer, you know, might be saying like, Oh, I can kind of relate to that. I mean, like, you know, my parents don't have an in, but maybe I am the person who is, you know, the take charge person or whatever, or and the person who. is actually good at, you know, figuring out the day to day stuff in my parents business or just my own stuff or, you know, with the family kind of, issues or whatever, you know, kind of, kind of thing. Yeah, because

Erin:

in a psychological realm, so often, in family units, we do have those You know, whether you're the caretaker, the, you know, like, so that might stay with you or it could

tanya:

change. Yeah, for sure. And definitely if you've had, you know, your big city job away or, you know, whatever as we all kind of journey away from our, you know, where we grow up, or maybe sometimes we don't, maybe we stay kind of close by, you know, certain elements will change you meeting different people. You know, being able to interact in different ways your career path, all these things are, going to change the way you feel about yourself, the way you're, projecting yourself on the world. And you may start to get different feedback about who you are as a person and realize, wait, maybe that was very specific just to my family. And maybe this doesn't fit me anymore. You know, and I also think that there is much like. In terms of psychological themes, I think there's comfort in knowing the formula. There's like, you know, how we rewatch some of our old shows, or favorite shows over and over again, right? Like I, I, watch, you know, the Office Big Bang Theory. Frazier, all those Golden Girls. Like those are all my classics comforts, and. We know how they're going to turn out. There's, no surprises, there's comfort in that. And it's the same with the Hallmark movie. We know pretty much, like you said, you could join it, you know, an hour into it and you know what's going on and you know what's going to happen. And that is kind of nice. You're like, oh, let's see what the background looks like and what in they have or what family business they have, you know. And it kind of

Erin:

also, I like too, that it has the Christmas tradition. sometimes even if you're feeling like, oh, well, I miss, you know, I might miss my, you know, actual family, but I'm watching this family unit on this movie. It might make me feel different feelings, or maybe it has other viewers feel less alone or less sad during

tanya:

the holiday season. Yeah, it's an uplifting feeling and connection with other, people and kind of saying, okay, instead of feeling all these things that I feel this is something that is giving a more positive vibe has, you know, something that is taking a different, perspective on things and, the way that this is how I would like things to be knowing that, okay, it may not be, my reality may not be, Idealistic like this, but there are definitely some elements that I can appreciate that I see mirrored in this. Right? Right. And, you know that's, really important because holidays certainly can be. Stressful, depressing traumatizing if, you know, certain traumas or, you know, things have taken place around the holidays. If they've just never really been something that have been a happy time for you, if you've just never experienced that. It can really be a time when, people are having difficulties and these movies can be, uplifting and connecting and comforting. And that's, that is huge. That is a big thing because, you know, as therapists, that's what we hope for sometimes for some interventions for people who are experiencing depression or, other difficulties, you know, that may be related to long term issues, chronic issues or acute issues. So, you know, and. In a sense, no, I was just going to say in a sense, it's an intervention, but no, I can't describe

Erin:

you six, six Hallmark movies. Cheer up. No, I mean, it could be it could, be a nice distraction from reality and for a little bit, and maybe it could be some talking points. So if you did say, Hey, you know what, I'm going to task you because maybe you have a client who. It's very apprehensive or doesn't like the holiday season, you know, and hasn't shared with you why. Maybe I'm going to task you to watch two or three homework movies and come back and let's talk about how you felt

tanya:

after you watched them that's interesting. I don't, I've never used that intervention, but maybe I'll try it. I haven't either. I can't really think of anyone I would want to, but I don't know, maybe I'll find someone that fits that. Maybe if you

Erin:

have the Grinch as a, doesn't really

tanya:

like Christmas and you don't know why. That's so funny. When you said that I thought, of my dad. My dad would have benefited from some Hallmark movies, but I'm pretty sure he hated them. Not very realistic, not very Christmasy. Yeah, he was, he literally used to say bah humbug and loved, and would cackle afterwards. He loved, hating Christmas. Oh, so

Erin:

that was his,

tanya:

his identity. Yeah, he was a grumpy person and, you know, his exterior. Kind of personality, but I don't think internally, but yeah, so, I mean, that might be kind of, kind of interesting, but I, I do think that there is definitely something there and we wanted to kind of touch upon, you know, some of the elements and, you know, let people know that Not only are they not alone, just in the holiday seasons, but they're not alone in, in feeling some comfort from these Hallmark movies at all, you know, that this is, there's definitely some psychology to it and some you know.

Erin:

And it is probably well thought out, like whoever came up with this formula, just like whoever writes those Harlequin type of books, there's, with the, Hallmark movies, there's the, you know, we laugh, but there's like, Someone from the city moves to a small town or moves some small

tanya:

town. Meet somebody frustrated with high heels, you know, gets their boots.

Erin:

It's usually rainy or muddy or snowing when they come home. There's usually a broken down red truck that they have to some or someone is going to help them. Maybe they have a golden retriever.

tanya:

Oh yeah. I do like the golden retrievers. Yeah,

Erin:

they have to get the family Christmas tree, you know, so those are usually the, maybe there's a party, you know, so, but

tanya:

it draws you in. It does. Yeah there's, definitely a comfort there. And. There's a reason why, because I think the formula is very, you know, psychologically universal to, people that maybe struggle with, some of those things, and it provides comfort and connection, and so that's, we're here to, just show you that, and to make that more transparent, you know, that, hey there's, a reason why you do like those, even though you're like, hey, why do I like these, and these are cheesy. That's the reason why, you know, but and there's absolutely nothing wrong with getting that. Yeah, it's hitting on

Erin:

all of your heartstrings and it, knows, too. Okay, well, if this person, maybe some people get stressed because of work. Maybe some people are longing for that family connection. Maybe some people want that romance. Maybe some people want to find themselves. So they're trying to find, maybe some people just like Christmas. You know, so they're,

tanya:

they're definitely people just want to work at their family's in, you know, and boots,

Erin:

you know, I'd like to go to my family's 1. 3 million in

tanya:

or whatever it is. Right. Yeah. Just

Erin:

in the mountains Andy.

tanya:

Yeah, but, you know I, you know, so I think that, you know we, wanted to talk about this, we thought this would be fun for the holiday season but we. We really want to hear your thoughts on if, do you like Hallmark movies? Why, you know, did you do you have any other theories based around that? We're always, you know, willing to kind of hear that out because of course there's probably other perspectives on it. But we just kind of like to have a conversation about it, open it up. So please let us know. We're always willing to, hear from you. We love to hear from you. So, yeah, so don't forget to follow us on Instagram at Wicked Psychotherapists, and on Facebook, the Wicked Psychotherapists. Subscribe and follow. Yeah,

Erin:

subscribe, follow, wherever you currently listen to podcasts,

tanya:

and please, write us a Yeah, leave us a review. Yeah. That helps out. We would love that. Five stars if you want. Five stars is great. We really appreciate it. It helps us to get, this out there. People got to know about why they're drawn to Hallmark. Okay. This is important.

Erin:

Share with your friends

tanya:

too. Yes, share with anybody and everybody, whether they like it, they hate it. There's relevance here for everyone. I went on a bit of rant. So, you know, go ahead, you know, maybe,

Erin:

maybe you're, you want to share it because You too love Hallmark, or you don't,

tanya:

who knows? There's reasons for it, there's reasons against it, but, I mean, you can't deny all the, connections and the formula of, you know why, some people may find it comforting. Yeah, they're

Erin:

smart, they're smart, the, whoever invented

tanya:

Hallmark writers. Yes, whoever invented it. There's a whole, there's a whole team of them, or maybe it's AI now, who knows, ChatGC is writing it. Maybe it's

Erin:

like three people who do every single channel,

tanya:

you know, it's just like three. Might be. Or the same three robots. I don't know. Same three AI systems. It could be like ChatGBT. They really could probably write I would be curious to see what ChatGBT would write for, say, like, you know, this formula for a Hallmark movie. Yeah. That might be an interesting experiment, but Anyways so we're On

Erin:

the next episode, you're gonna be watching Erin and Kenya's new lifetime movie. And we will act it out for you. Oh

tanya:

my god, that would be awesome. And we have like, like, like mops as like wigs and stuff. And we're like, yeah. Lucy's running away.

Erin:

Oh yeah, we'll just have like one of the old time video cameras. Just recording

tanya:

that back to 1986. That would actually be amazing. I like that.

Erin:

We'll be on the road, guys. This

tanya:

is what we're doing. Next year is Christmas. Well, anyways, let's close out here and and don't forget stay wicked and keep your mind well. Bye, guys. We'll see you next time.

Erin:

Bye bye. Have a nice one

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